Monday, June 7, 2010
No Kindness for Fleas
About a month ago my son and I brought some dog food to the local animal pound. When we were there I asked the animal control officer what donations they needed most. She said besides money, flea and tick control. So today when I was at the vet picking up some up for our menagerie of three dogs and two cats, I got a couple to drop off at the pound as well. The technician told me it was buy six get two free. I'm pretty sure that “free” was a relative term here, but it helped to feel like I got a bargain on kindness.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Referees Are People Too
Another sports day and we spent most of the morning and early afternoon at my younger son's soccer tournament. My friend and I picked up some trash left by some enthusiastic, yet environmentally challenged young soccer players. This may have counted for today's act of kindness, but keeping with the theme of sportsmanship mentioned earlier this week, I did something I have been wanting to do for months.
After two seasons (winter and spring) of sitting with the same group of parents cheering our kids on, I finally, finally had the courage to ask one of the moms to stop berating the referee. I said it nicely, in a joking manner, but I was nervous. She responded, in a half joking manner back, that when it comes to her kid, she will always defend him. I then pointed out (don't worry, keep reading, we don't get into brawl or anything like that) in the same manner, that this particular referee she was harassing, was about 15 years old, 16 tops. Her son would be there soon enough and how would she feel about a parent yelling at him.
I might add, for details sake, that in addition to being a young guy, he was the only referee in the game. Prior to the start he had asked the parents to please signal when the ball went out on the side of the field where we were sitting, as it was was hard for him to see from the far side. I'm not sure of the relevance of this bit of information, other than he was really just a kid doing the best he could. Another bit that may or may not be pertinent is that my son's team has only won one game the whole season. And the team they beat had not won any games at all. We are really pretty far beyond blaming the referee for the team's shortcomings.
During the next game not a negative word was heard from the sidelines. Coincidence or successful kindness intervention? I'm not sure, but I'm glad I spoke up.
After two seasons (winter and spring) of sitting with the same group of parents cheering our kids on, I finally, finally had the courage to ask one of the moms to stop berating the referee. I said it nicely, in a joking manner, but I was nervous. She responded, in a half joking manner back, that when it comes to her kid, she will always defend him. I then pointed out (don't worry, keep reading, we don't get into brawl or anything like that) in the same manner, that this particular referee she was harassing, was about 15 years old, 16 tops. Her son would be there soon enough and how would she feel about a parent yelling at him.
I might add, for details sake, that in addition to being a young guy, he was the only referee in the game. Prior to the start he had asked the parents to please signal when the ball went out on the side of the field where we were sitting, as it was was hard for him to see from the far side. I'm not sure of the relevance of this bit of information, other than he was really just a kid doing the best he could. Another bit that may or may not be pertinent is that my son's team has only won one game the whole season. And the team they beat had not won any games at all. We are really pretty far beyond blaming the referee for the team's shortcomings.
During the next game not a negative word was heard from the sidelines. Coincidence or successful kindness intervention? I'm not sure, but I'm glad I spoke up.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Conflicted Kindness
My older son had a lacrosse game today. My husband, younger son, and I were in the stands when a woman came by with her son, who looked about ten also, selling candy for a dollar. She prompted the boy, who clearly was uncomfortable, to ask us if we would buy one. My initial response was “no thank you," feeling as if we were being pressured to buy, but seeing the awkward little salesman made me remember my commitment to kindness. My husband gave my son a dollar to pick out a candy bar, so there was one person who definitely thought this was kind. My husband however, thought our act was brought on by our feeling obligated to give, and pointed out that we were not told, nor did we ask, what the benefit of the candy sale was.
A true act of kindness or one prompted by a feeling of obligation?
A true act of kindness or one prompted by a feeling of obligation?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Guest on Kindness
Today is garbage and recycle day in my neighborhood. I stopped several times along my road on the way home from work to put bins out of the road and safely in their respective driveways. While I believe this does qualify as a kind act for the day, it isn't terribly interesting. So today I am hosting a guest blogger, my husband. He wrote this essay about eight years ago, which just goes to show my family has been pondering the kindness of strangers for some time now....
Sometimes, things happen to you that just set you aback a bit and make you pause in wonder. Sometimes, you can really believe in the goodness of human nature and the spirit of kindness.
Recently, I was on a quest to purchase some capes for my young sons who are currently in the superhero phase of childhood. The only capes I could find were plastic ones that would never stand up to the rigors of Batman battling Superman, at least not in my basement. After having searched far and wide, I finally decided that I would make them capes. Yes, this naïve father believed that he could sew simple capes for his sons.
I walked into Wal-Mart and got directions for the fabric center. Having only got lost once, I finally made it to Fabrics and followed the directions on the counter: Ring bell for service. I rang the bell and the saleswoman appeared to inquire how she could help me. After having listened to me ramble on about my ideas, she preceded to give me instructions about what I would need and how I would construct them. I’m afraid I interrupted her many times to ask ( and ask again) the most basic of questions. She took pity on me and ever so patiently explained everything so that I could take notes and make drawings. I thought I was all set and then I asked a final question: “What kind of needle should I use?”
The saleswoman looked at me with this incredulous stare. She replied,” You’re going to do this by hand?” My affirmative response caused her incredulity to melt into compassion. She said that she would purchase the material and make the capes for me by tomorrow. I couldn’t believe my good luck, but I couldn’t let her do this for me and I protested. She insisted saying that this is what the Christmas season was all about-- doing for others. When I asked about how much I could pay her, she responded, “Nothing, just pay the favor forward and help someone else who needs it.”
Driving home, I couldn’t believe what Sharon was doing for me and what she had said. Too often at this time of year, I find myself cynical and bemoaning how commercial everything has become. Sharon’s words and actions were the perfect antidote to my usual holiday blahs. Funny thing was, everyone who I told this to responded the same way.
When I returned to the store to pick up the capes, I discovered that Sharon had come back on her day off to be sure that I got them. She wrapped each cape up with festive paper and a nice bow. I asked her how much I owed her for the material and she presented me with a receipt for $7.38. As I started to take out my wallet, she said simply, “Donate the money to Salvation Army and give it to people who need it.” I was dumbstruck, thanked Sharon profusely, and left.
How to respond to such kindness and thoughtfulness? Is this level of humanity present in all of us, but only rises to surface in some during certain times? Sharon’s actions have given me a lot to think about. By making my sons’ capes, she has also given me a present to share with others.
Sometimes, things happen to you that just set you aback a bit and make you pause in wonder. Sometimes, you can really believe in the goodness of human nature and the spirit of kindness.
Recently, I was on a quest to purchase some capes for my young sons who are currently in the superhero phase of childhood. The only capes I could find were plastic ones that would never stand up to the rigors of Batman battling Superman, at least not in my basement. After having searched far and wide, I finally decided that I would make them capes. Yes, this naïve father believed that he could sew simple capes for his sons.
I walked into Wal-Mart and got directions for the fabric center. Having only got lost once, I finally made it to Fabrics and followed the directions on the counter: Ring bell for service. I rang the bell and the saleswoman appeared to inquire how she could help me. After having listened to me ramble on about my ideas, she preceded to give me instructions about what I would need and how I would construct them. I’m afraid I interrupted her many times to ask ( and ask again) the most basic of questions. She took pity on me and ever so patiently explained everything so that I could take notes and make drawings. I thought I was all set and then I asked a final question: “What kind of needle should I use?”
The saleswoman looked at me with this incredulous stare. She replied,” You’re going to do this by hand?” My affirmative response caused her incredulity to melt into compassion. She said that she would purchase the material and make the capes for me by tomorrow. I couldn’t believe my good luck, but I couldn’t let her do this for me and I protested. She insisted saying that this is what the Christmas season was all about-- doing for others. When I asked about how much I could pay her, she responded, “Nothing, just pay the favor forward and help someone else who needs it.”
Driving home, I couldn’t believe what Sharon was doing for me and what she had said. Too often at this time of year, I find myself cynical and bemoaning how commercial everything has become. Sharon’s words and actions were the perfect antidote to my usual holiday blahs. Funny thing was, everyone who I told this to responded the same way.
When I returned to the store to pick up the capes, I discovered that Sharon had come back on her day off to be sure that I got them. She wrapped each cape up with festive paper and a nice bow. I asked her how much I owed her for the material and she presented me with a receipt for $7.38. As I started to take out my wallet, she said simply, “Donate the money to Salvation Army and give it to people who need it.” I was dumbstruck, thanked Sharon profusely, and left.
How to respond to such kindness and thoughtfulness? Is this level of humanity present in all of us, but only rises to surface in some during certain times? Sharon’s actions have given me a lot to think about. By making my sons’ capes, she has also given me a present to share with others.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Perfect Kindness
I recently said that I was crossing random acts of kindness involving children (see blog entry Kind of Creepy) off my list but I broke my vow today. I was in a store with bunch of balloons in hand when I saw a girl about 3 years old with her mom, looking longingly at my bouquet. I asked her mom's permission then let the girl pick out which one she wanted. It felt not at all creepy, and well kind of....kind.
Speaking of kindness, which of course is the point here, it has been heartening today to watch and read about Armando Galarraga's (pitcher for the Detroit Tigers) response to the umpires call which denied him the perfect game. I'm not sure if graciousness is the same as kindness, but they are, at the very least related. In a time when the stands of youth sports are filled with parents yelling at the umpire or the referee, or their kids, Mr. Galarraga gracious demeanor was uplifting and inspiring. A perfect game for a perfect gentleman.
Speaking of kindness, which of course is the point here, it has been heartening today to watch and read about Armando Galarraga's (pitcher for the Detroit Tigers) response to the umpires call which denied him the perfect game. I'm not sure if graciousness is the same as kindness, but they are, at the very least related. In a time when the stands of youth sports are filled with parents yelling at the umpire or the referee, or their kids, Mr. Galarraga gracious demeanor was uplifting and inspiring. A perfect game for a perfect gentleman.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My Ten Year Old Teacher
When I met my 10 year old son at the door today as he came home from school, he announced that he had done a kind deed that needed to be written about in the blog. He told me that he had bought his friend a cookie at lunch, since his friend didn't have any money for one.
His school lunch is on a debit system; he gives the cashier his PIN number and it is deducted from the account---the one that we put lunch money in every month. I was quick to point out that “his” account is the money the “we” put in for “his” lunch, not his friends snacks. And I was even quicker to regret that this was what I chose to focus on. I've been writing about kindess for over two months now, yet I failed to recognize a genuine kind act, right from the heart, when it was presented to me.
Shifting gears as best as I could, I told him how proud I was of him for being such a good friend, and absolutely that would be today's blog entry. I still have a lot to learn about being kind. Luckily I have a good tutor.
His school lunch is on a debit system; he gives the cashier his PIN number and it is deducted from the account---the one that we put lunch money in every month. I was quick to point out that “his” account is the money the “we” put in for “his” lunch, not his friends snacks. And I was even quicker to regret that this was what I chose to focus on. I've been writing about kindess for over two months now, yet I failed to recognize a genuine kind act, right from the heart, when it was presented to me.
Shifting gears as best as I could, I told him how proud I was of him for being such a good friend, and absolutely that would be today's blog entry. I still have a lot to learn about being kind. Luckily I have a good tutor.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Trading Trash for Kindness
Some days I am just hoping that an opportunity to be kind will present itself. An opportunity that not just screams “kindness needed here” but one that is interesting enough to write about as well. Today, while I was at work waiting and hoping, I cleaned all the dishes in the sink, (although there were not nearly enough to qualify as an act of kindness) emptied the garbage, and the recycle bin. I also tossed out two yucky looking things from the fridge. This was to be my back up plan if nothing fascinating came along.
Alas, nothing did. Thus proving that age old adage, one person's trash is another person's act of kindness
Alas, nothing did. Thus proving that age old adage, one person's trash is another person's act of kindness
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