Memorial Day

Writing about any “act of kindness” that did not include an observance of Memorial Day would feel trivial today. We decided to go as a family to attend a service this morning. Since we had not actually done this before, we searched the newspaper for something that was local and we found one less than a mile from our house. It was being held at a monument that we had passed hundreds of times, but never stopped to look at.

The memorial honored two soldiers from our town who had died in the second world war. Their bodies were never recovered. The service poignant and was it difficult to hear that this country is losing almost 1200 World War II veterans a day. My dad is a veteran of that war.

It took the commitment to this project for us to discover a monument we pass almost daily. And while our family will continue to associate Memorial Day with the start of summer and burgers on the grill, our experience today will insure that we also keep in mind those who died for this country as well as their families who miss them.

Quest to be Kind

Great family day and my parents' house, brothers, sister in laws, sister out laws, nieces and nephews. Lots of questions about why I am doing this project. Why be kind to strangers? Aren't you already kind to your friends and family? What is the point? And the most common question was, what have you done kind today?

As the afternoon went on, the pressure mounted. What could I do that was kind? When would I do it? As the afternoon turned to early evening, no obvious kind deed was in sight. We packed up the car to go home, along with my niece and her husband. I asked my sons what they thought we should do. My younger son said without hesitation that we should stop and buy ice cream for someone on the way home. I wondered out loud if he thought I should get him some ice cream while I was at it, and he thought that was a brilliant idea. I agreed to this plan, with not a small bit of suspicion that I was being used for my acts of kindness.

When we arrived at the ice cream stand, we all stood in line speculating how to carry out the plan. As we reached the counter I conferred with my son. Wouldn't it be kind to get ice cream for his cousin and her husband (who from here on out will also be referred to as his cousin). He agreed and ice cream for all it was.

Cup Commitment

I bought a reusable cup for iced coffee today. This really doesn't seem like an overly kind act. But now that warm weather is here, I have become a seasonal ice coffee addict and get at least one almost every day. The trash is adding up. That definitely not kind for the environment. I have had my eye on reusable cup, one that is just the right size and fits into my car cup holder. But I hadn't bought it yet as I tend to be forgetful, and imagined that every time I needed it, either it would not be in my car, or there would be sticky layer of day old coffee dredges at the bottom.

My hopes and intentions are that, by making public my intention to wash and return it to my car every day I actually will.

Chicken Thighs and Kindness

My friend shared with me a “kindness of strangers” story that happened earlier this week. She said that she was sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store crying. It had been a difficult day, and sometimes that's what you need to do. Eventually she stopped, pulled herself together and went in to do her shopping. While she was in the store a woman approached her. Now, this particular friend is a stickler for details, so it is important to include that she was looking at 99 cent chicken thighs when this happened. The woman asked my friend, with some difficulty as English wasn't her first language, if she was OK. Apparently she had noticed her crying in the car and wanted to say something then. But the her husband discouraged her from doing so, fearing it would seem intrusive. My friend assured her she was fine, the woman patted her shoulder, and they both continued their shopping. I apologize for not knowing if she did indeed purchase the chicken thighs.

Since my act of kindness yesterday was flowers for a stranger, today I gave flowers to co-workers, people I actually know.

Flowers for a Stranger.

I bought some flowers this morning, not sure to whom I was going to give them. The cashier commented about how pretty they were. And I said "Do you really think so?" And she said "yes" so sincerely, that I said "Oh, well then they are for you."

Hope and Kindness

I recently read an amazing essay about hope. I'm not even going to attempt to paraphrase for fear of minimizing the message it was meant to convey. I will just leave it that I felt hopeful after I read it. There was one part where the writer told about being in an airport and being approached by a woman asking for money because she claimed that she accidentally flushed her wallet down the toilet. While it seemed exceedingly clear that the woman was lying, the writer eventually relented and gave her money anyway. She didn't have a revelation about why she ultimately decided to, just that the feelings in such a situation are complex.

It made me think about the times since I have started this project that I have walked past people holding signs such as “Out of work, need money” and have chosen not to give anything. I've made different decisions than the writer of the essay did in a similar situation, but the feelings of conflict are similar.

So I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than that being kind and hopeful can be more complex than one initially realizes. Today, in the spirit of hope in a dire situation, we are sending a check to the Louisiana Disaster Recovery Foundation.

Don't Forget

Remember that Thursday the 27th is Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. If you don't know what this is, refer to April's entry Monthly Feature and May's entry "Plan to be Spontaneous."