This blog is is attempt to fulfill a promise made to a stranger 25 years ago. Spotting a broken down car on the side of rural highway in Upstate New York, a man who could have very easily kept on driving stopped to help me. After an entire afternoon of getting me on my way he accepted only a thank you and a promise that I would help someone else along the way. It is time I fulfilled that promise. I am making a commitment to be kind to a stranger at least once a day for a year.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The Motivation for Kindness? Seedlings and a Del's
My younger son and I worked in the community garden today. It was not without complaint that he left his Saturday morning cartoons for this task. I promised him we would stay no longer than a half an hour.
When we go there he was quick to notice the winter squash that he and his brother planted a week and a half ago had already sprouted. This definitely provided the near instant gratification needed to maintain some level of motivation. When the half hour was up, he actually volunteered that we should stay longer so that we could finish weeding and mulching the row we had started.
A frozen lemonade (Del's if you're from these parts) on the way home, and I'd like to think that and the seedling will be enough motivation to get him back to weed another day.
Friday, July 30, 2010
My Fifteen Seconds of Fame
I stopped for my morning coffee today, at the same place where I had bought a cup for a stranger a few days ago (Cup Of Kindness Plus More, July 25). The young man who waited on me was the same one who had expressed so much excitement about getting to be the one to carry out the deed. At first he didn't recognize me, but when he did, his face lit up. “Oh my God, you're the lady!” I think it was the closest I have ever felt in my life to being a celebrity. He went on to tell me how excited the woman whom he had given the coffee to was, that she called her boyfriend right then and there to tell him about it. And said that she that she was going to make sure to do the same thing for someone else. It was absolutely a great way to start the day.
My act of kindness for the day pales in comparison, in terms of excitement and interest. On Fridays at work we pay a dollar for charity to wear blue jeans. Today I paid two dollars AND I didn't wear jeans. It won't give me celebrity status, but I did my deed for the day.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Kind of Corny
Corn delivery today to the soup kitchen, via the local farm stand. They gave us about 50 pounds of it along with a gallon of farm fresh milk that they sell. In a way, we were but the conduit of another's kindness and are left with a question to ponder---is this still OUR kindness?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Act of (Yawn) Kindness
I was shopping for some home goods at Home Goods today, and when I finished, I made sure to return my shopping cart to a row stacked in the front of the store. There was no cart corral so my choice was just leave it sitting in the parking lot or return it to the store. In the name of kindness to the drivers and whom ever would have to collect the carts I chose the latter.
I can think of absolutely no way to make that act sound interesting. But in three days I will officially be one third of the way though the year. Which means I have two thirds of year to go. So in the interest of going the distance, I will say that kindness doesn't have to always be clever to count.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Controversial Kindness
The day started with great anticipation as it was, of course, Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. I bought a bunch of Gerber daisies first thing in the morning, and brought them into work, not yet sure who the recipient would be. One of my co-workers, a sometimes blog follower with knowledge of GFTAS Day, noticed and asked who would be getting them. I said I wasn't sure, that I didn't have a plan just yet. I felt confident I would meet a deserving stranger as the day progressed.
Later in the morning my boss (not a follower of the blog and therefore unaware of today's holiday status) stopped by my office and commented how beautiful the flowers were, that Gerber daisies were one of her favorite flowers. Hmm, not a stranger, but should it be her?
A bit later an email exchange ensued between my boss, another co-worker, and me regarding a meeting scheduled later in the week, one that my boss had apparently forgotten about. I speculated (jokingly, which is usually a bad idea in email) that perhaps that this memory lapse could be connected to her advancing age. The co-worker (a regular blog follower) commented that this was an rather unkind remark for a person who writes about being kind. My boss countered that perhaps an act of kindness could right the wrong and provide some balance.
And so it was meant to be. My boss became the recipient of the flowers.
On my way out at the end of the day the sometimes blog follower co-worker asked who received the flowers. When I told her they went to our boss she indicated, not subtley, that she thought this more qualified as an act of kiss a** than an act of kindness.
And so concludes another Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. Sometimes it ain't easy being kind.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Kindness Odds and Ends
No exciting act to report today. I mailed a card I have been meaning to send. I responded to an email that had been in my inbox a few days too long. My husband and son stopped by the soup kitchen with some vegetables from our garden. I was at work when this happened, but I did plant the seeds in the garden, and made sure there were extra when I did. So if one were really trying to stretch and claim an act of kindness for the the day, perhaps that would be it.
That leaves me with the question do several kindness odds and ends add up to one act of kindness for the day?
Remember, tomorrow is the is the 27th of the month, and that means, of course, that it is Give Flowers to a Stranger Day.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Cup of Kindess Plus More
I'm almost a third of the way through this project, the official marker coming in about a week or so. What that means to me today is a reminder that it is getting increasingly difficult to think of anything new or original to do. I've even taken to googling “random acts of kindness” ever once in a while for ideas. I actually found a list, 29 Ways To Be Kind. Turns out, I've already done over half of them, and pretty much all the ones that are feasible for me. One idea, “walk a friends dog” had not occurred to me. Now I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. So Shorty, Lola, Kirby, Rowdy, Jake, Holly, Merlin, Tara, Oaky, Elvis and Cocoa, look out; I'm coming for you next.
In the meantime today it was the same ole same ole, bought a cup of coffee for someone, with the instructions for the cashier to wait for the first customer who came in after I left. What was different and totally fun was his reaction. The cashier (or barista as they seem to be called in this chain) expressed excitement and joy that he could do this for someone. He said that I made his day. And that, I believe might even qualify as a of two for one act of kindness. Or as they might say in this coffee shop “a cup of kindness with an add shot.”
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Be Kind to Salespeople. If My Husband Can Do It, You Can Too
We went to a local music festival today that was sparsely attended, at least when we were there. As a result many of the vendors were hanging around without much to do. Set up near one of the stages was new car (a Ford Fiesta) with two sales people trying to drum up some excitement about it. Like the vendors, they were seriously lacking customers. It was impossible to get into the music venue without walking past them.
The first time we walked by I said “no thank you” as they tried to get me to look at the car and fill out a form. But the next time we passed my husband, to my surprise, stopped to chat. Engaging sales people is not usually his style. He is definitely not a fan of the sales pitch. But, he let our kids climb inside the car and had a spirited conversation with the overenthusiastic, near desperate salesman about the “cool” features of the car, which there was no chance at all we would ever buy.
Finally, before we walked away, my husband filled out the form the young man pushed on him (actually the third time he asked us to fill it out). As we walked away, my husband turned to me and said “There's your act of kindness for the day.” And so it was.
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Family That Blogs Together...
One of the the goals of this year long project is to instill in our sons the importance of being kind to others. But the balance is making them feel good about what they are doing, and not resentful that we are doing it. This has been particularly true about our involvement at the community garden. There is not a lot of cheering in our house when we announce it is time to go volunteer. Today my older son is offering his perspective:
My family and I went to the community garden today and planted, dug and weeded until we were were sweating like pigs. We did this to help people who don't have enough nutrition and food. I wasn't thrilled to be going there. In fact, I was sulking because I didn't want to go and I wasn't having a blast like I wanted to be having.
During the planting I was trying to be enthusiastic but it wasn't working one bit. But after we had done our deed I felt happy that I was helping someone somewhere in the world. I guess that's what counts.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sometimes It Takes A Village To Be Kind
I am pleased to report that our garden project, (“Tom and Huck,” July 9) collecting vegetables from backyard gardens and delivering them to the local soup kitchen, is off and running at a good clip. One of the primary reasons I am happy about this is that I there are few days that I have to wonder what new act of kindness I can come up with, sad as that may be for the stranger for whom I might have bought a cup of coffee.
Today I picked up about 150 pounds of assorted vegetables from a local farm stand and delivered them to the soup kitchen. The farmer who owns the stand is very generous about donating, but says he doesn’t have time to deliver. So it is a good partnership with our “veggie collaborative.”
When I arrived at the kitchen and started taking the boxes out of the car, the folks who were standing outside waiting for it to open immediately came to help me, which was a good thing as I was alone today with a large load. Between the farmer, the folks helping unload the car, and me, it definitely felt like a cooperative act of kindness today.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Path to Kindness
My family took a ride on a bike path tonight in an area we hadn't ridden before. We had been visiting friends and they suggested a place to stop to eat not too far off the path. As it was getting close to dinner time it was starting to look like rain was imminent. We weren't sure how much further we had to go so we stopped a woman walking along the path to ask. She was very nice, but couldn't help us. Meanwhile another woman inside a house near the path saw us asking and came out to see if she could be helpful. It was incredibly kind of her, going out of her way be helpful to complete strangers.
A discussion ensued about how far the restaurant was, the impending storm and the hunger level of the kids that was producing some level of irritability. Seeing that (and it was embarrassingly obvious) she then offered to give us some snacks for the ride. “How about some apples? Or some crackers?” We declined (politely, at least I hope it was perceived that way) and peddled on our way. All four of us were a bit taken back that someone would be so nice. I may be writing this kindness blog, but it would not have of occurred to me to make such an offer. I'm not THAT kind.
With the excellent directions we received, it was just a short ride to dinner, we ate before the hunger fueled ill-tempers exploded, and rode the 5 miles back to the car just 10 minutes before the sky let loose. A fun night, thanks to our new found friend on the bike path.
As for my act of kindness for the day, I gave the kids each a dollar to contribute for the jar on the restaurant counter, a collection to help with the difficult circumstances of an employee. My quota was filled, but I was inspired by the kindness of a stranger.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Extra Veggies=Act of Kindness
The Power of the Deadline
Today was a day off from work. The plan was deliver them on the way to the beach. And then the thunder storms rolled in... Change in activities, a movie with the family instead. But the book drop off was not near the theater. I think, I'll do it later in the week, because it wasn't actually a REAL deadline.....
But then, what if there is that one person out there who read last week that I committed to doing this, and will know that I didn't follow through? What if they think “this whole blog is a farce” because I didn't donate the books when I said I would? What is the point of setting a deadline if you don't meet it? And the most pressing question of all, “Am I going to ruin a perfectly good vacation day by obsessing about when to deliver these bags of books?”
I decided to go out of the way and drop off the books, then meet my family at the movies. I missed the previews but met my deadline. And for that one reader out there who was keeping track, I did it for you.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Keeping It Honest
In January when the earthquake happened in Haiti, we donated money like so many other people and told ourselves we would continue our support throughout the year. It is the middle of July and we have not yet kept that pledge. Today we sent off a donation to an organization that is providing health care in Haiti.
Nothing like a public blog to keep you honest to yourself.
Fried Dough With Kindness
The girl who is usually running the stand is about 16 years old and is always pleasant, no matter what kind of harrassment she is experiencing from the customers. Whenever I see her, I make sure to let her know that we are impressed by her demeanor (and put money in the tip jar, which I suspect she appreciates more than my words). Today, motivated by the blog, I sought out her mother who is the manager of the stand.
I told the mom what a great job her daughter does, and that it is something we notice every time we see her. In a mom like way, she talked about how proud of her she is, and that working with the public can be difficult. She said that her daughter often has to wait on people who are rude to her, but that she always displays grace under pressure.
Today I was happy today to be the voice of kindess from the public.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tennis Ball Coming. Duck!
But tonight I saw a boy, around fiver or six years old, throwing a tennis ball at a duck in the water. I looked around, no adult in sight. I thought perhaps he was just trying to make it swim, but when I watched more closely, it was seemed that wasn't the intent. I walked over and said as kindly as I could muster “Don't do that, you might hit him” to which he replied “That's what I want to do.” I then said in a more stern mother voice “Don't do it again. It's a mean thing to do.” I felt a little bad, as it was clear he did not understand why, and this is something that needs to be taught to a child, ideally not by a stranger lakeside.
My husband's view was that this does not qualify as an act of kindness. But my younger son, lover of all animals, had no doubt that it does. The duck did not express an opinion.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Teacher's Advice Remembered
Almost Heroic
It would make for a much more interesting blog entry if I were to say at this point, the driver was injured so I performed CPR as I called an ambulance. Then, as sparks were flying from the wires, I cleared the tree from the road to prevent further injury to the next unsuspecting driver. However, when I walked up to the car ahead of me, the driver rolled down his window and smiled as he was on the phone, nodding affirmative when I asked if he was ok and if he was reporting the road blockage.
It was not an act of heroism to be sure, but I resisted the urge to drive away before assuring that all was well, and that’s got to count for something.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Today's Thought, Tomorrow's Action
Monday, July 12, 2010
Kindness and Civics
I signed his petition and considered it my participation in government as well as my act kindness for the day.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Not So Fast....
A friend suggested that if I was looking for a kind deed, I could donate some books to a program she was familiar with, one that develops libraries for prisons. Sounded like a good idea, throw some books in a bag, drop them off, blog about it.
I started taking some dusty books off the shelf (also dusty). Then I found a name written in one of them. Oops, I guess I forgot to return it to her. Put that one aside. I begin wondering if some of the other titles were borrowed and not returned to the rightful owner. Now there are several piles going. Donate. Return to owner. Might belong to someone else. My husband noticed the piles and said he would like to go through his books too. More stacks appear.
So this act of kindness will not be completed today. But I am hopeful that by publically posting about it, I will actually finish it with a minimum of procrastination. I’m giving myself a week…
Saturday, July 10, 2010
"Acting" Kind
We are going on the theory that if we act like we're having a good time, the feelings will follow. I'll let you know how it goes.....
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tom and Huck
My family started doing this several years ago, and last year we asked our friends if they wanted to team up with us. Actually, I feel a little like Tom Sawyer when he gets some kids to paint the picket fence for him and convinces them it is fun. My friend ended up doing the bulk of the work, making the majority of the pick up and deliveries. This year she is way ahead of me with organizing the posters, press releases and system for recording the donations. I won't tell you her name, but you can call her Huck Finn.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Kindness Over Easy
Was it the need to get back to the half cooked meal? Or was it kindness? More importantly, if it was kindness, do I get to consider it this evening's blog entry? When pressed for details about his decision making process, he admitted he was mostly driven by the pressure to get home to his cooking. He did however add that were it not for this kindness commitment, he would not have thought to offer to help with the bill.
So, after careful consideration, and the absence of any other acts today, I'm taking credit.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Leftover Kindness
As we walked by them to leave, they thanked us again and said that we had made their day.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Peanut Butter in the Clutch
Monday, July 5, 2010
Family Feud
Today was the first day my boys got to use their new nets at the lake. They were very quickly surrounded not only by fish waiting for bread crumbs, but a small crowd of children wanting to get in on the fish catching action. After a short time my older son lost interest and decided to swim. but my younger son stood their patiently into the early evening, trying to scoop up the unsuspecting fish. The spare net was at first shared with a boy they had just met. Then he passed it to his sister, and she passed it to someone else, and so on and so on. There is no way to overemphasize the incredible allure of fish scooping at this lake
On the shore, our family began dividing into separate teams regarding the passing of the net. Team Trust and Team Worry. Team Trust was founded on the belief that we would eventually get the net back and that sharing was the right thing to do. Team Worry was concerned that we just got the nets, and we might never see them again or maybe they would be damaged.
We did eventually get our net back, many children got to experience the joy of fish scooping, and I was commanded by my son to “blog about it mom.” I won't say which team I was on, but let the reader remember who the author of this blog is.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Independence Day
Independence from fossil fuels on Independence Day. Sometimes it hard to imagine how every little bit helps, but I know for sure every little bit can't hurt.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
R.I.F.
Several years we donated to the library as it was the only public place to get internet access, which as an email addict, I utilized frequently.. But the past two years a new cafe has offered free wireless and awesome coffee, so that is where I end up each day, sometimes twice, my other addiction being coffee. And if you bring your own cup it's only a dollar. That alone is worthy of a donation. But it's not just a cafe, it is part of a non-profit education project set up, in part, to give job experience and training for local youth and young adults.
So we decided this year to split our donation between the cafe and library. While coffee and internet may feel essential to me, reading is fundamental.
Nickel and Dimes for Kindness
Not a fascinating act of kindness to be sure, but it's our family's effort to be doing what we what we can.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Dinner Music
While we were waiting for our food, a man sat down at the piano (while he was waiting for his food) and started playing. My son nervously asked “Is he supposed to do that?” It was an old piano, completely covered with various knick knacks, unique salt and pepper shakers, dolls and an assortment of other things that may or may not have had some common theme to tie them together. That is why, until we heard the music, it was not obvious that it was a working piano. We assured him that yes, it was there to be used and enjoyed.
The man played beautifully, and it was a great surprise to be treated to a pre-dinner show. When he stopped (apparently his order was ready) it seemed wrong that there was no applause.
On our way out I stopped by his table and told him how much we enjoyed hearing him play. This was definitely one of those “forced by the blog” moves, as I felt awkward doing so. But, as I'm learning from experience, a feeling of momentary awkwardness was replaced by a wondering of why I was hesitant in the first place.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Kind Once, Kind Twice
Today I walked by and she was in the yard working in the garden. I stopped and said hello, and reminded her we had met before, but it was clear she didn't remember me. I again told her how much I enjoyed her garden and that I made it a point to see it every summer. She was even more pleased to hear it this time.
There are two possible morals to this story. One, if it's kind once, it's even kinder a second time. Or two, I'm just not that memorable.