My year of living kindly ended on April 3rd (at least the daily blogging about it part, the kind living continues undocumented).  It's all here, 365 days worth hanging out in cyberspace if you would like to read about it.

I've started a new blog project with my friend Kim, The ABC's of Kindness.  Come on over and take a look!

One Year of Kindness

Day 365

I made it! Three hundred and sixty five days of kindness, three hundred and sixty five days of blogging about it. One thing is for sure, I could not have completed this adventure without the support and encouragement I received from friends and family. I'm not going to name names for fear of leaving someone out, but please know this; if you left comments on the website, Facebook, or sent me an email, it was very much appreciated. If you told me in person that you liked a particular entry or that you were reading this blog regularly, it was hugely encouraging. Thank you all for keeping me going, start to finish.

And thank you to the folks I have never met but who have followed this adventure in kindness and left comments of support and encouragement. It has been incredibly powerful to know that you were reading.

The biggest thank you of all goes to my husband.  I could not have completed this without his support each and every day.  Thank you for all the times you washed the dishes after dinner, even when you cooked too, so I that I could write. And for all the nights you made sure the kids were in bed and packed and ready for school the next day so that my job simply consisted of the easy part, coming in for the good night hug and kiss. And for the many, many times I insisted you read before I posted, even though you were just about to fall asleep. And for the one or two times I actually woke you up to do this. You know it is true when I say I couldn't have done it without you.

So what did I do today? The last day was the same as my first; picking up trash. My husband, the boys and I went out with our gloves and spent a half an hour filling two garbage bags of debris left exposed by the recently melted snow. It served to remind me of what I learned this year.  Most of the time being kind isn't about doing the big things, it's about doing the right things.

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The Kindness of Strangers is done, but The ABC's of Kindness is just starting,  It is a new adventure in kindness.  As this year ended I realized that I liked being kind and I liked writing. And while doing it every day was an accomplishment I was proud of, documenting it daily  was not necessarily a challenge I wanted to continue. However, writing about it once or twice a week was appealing. And doing it with a friend seemed even better.

A new challenge was born, The ABC's of Kindness. A kind act for a stranger, twice a week, starting with “a” and ending with, of course “z.”  My friend Kim kindly agreed to be my partner in kindness for this new adventure.  We'll start on April 5th at www.abcofkindness.blogspot.com.

Going With The Favorite

Day 364

My next to the last day and I put a lot of thought into doing something different.  But alas, my thoughts did not translate into action. Instead I decided to go with one of my favorites, buying a stranger a cup of coffee because it is usually the most fun. And today was no different.  The cashier smiled with surprise and commented what a nice idea it was when I gave him money and asked him to use it for coffee for the next customer.

Kind and fun.  Mission accomplished.

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 1:

Even though my reasons for the project were about creating change in my and my families attitudes and behaviors, I really got a kick every time I heard about someone doing something kind because of this blog.

Pancakes This Weekend. Don't Miss It!

Day 363

Driving to meet a friend for coffee today I passed a sign advertising a fundraising pancake breakfast for a local church.  Except it had blown over and was side ways.  Still readable but probably not the effect whoever put it up was going for.  I stopped the car and propped it back up and continued on my way.  Extra kindness points for me because it was raining/sleeting at the time.

I'll be completely honest here, I'm pretty sure I would not have done it if I weren't on the lookout for something to blog about.  But I suppose that's the whole point of this project isn't it!

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 2:

I'm a much more conscientious local shopper and recycler.

Very Special Delivery

Day 362

I got an email yesterday from my niece  K with a kindness request.  She has a friend from Japan whom she shared an apartment with at college for a year several years ago.  They were in contact this week and K received the good news that her friend and her family are safe and well.  The friend mentioned in her email that one thing she really misses about being in this country is my chocolate chip cookies.  I used to send them fairly regularly as part of college care packages.

Well first of all, anyone who holds my cookies in such high regard immediately owns a special place in my heart.  International cookie acclaim  is even better.  And much more importantly, I feel grateful  for the opportunity to do SOMETHING for someone in Japan.  There is such a  pervasive feeling of helplessness reading the news about the crisis day after day and not being able to offer any assistance other than money.

Today I stopped by the post office to begin the investigative work regarding what is involved in sending cookies to Japan.  I learned that it is OK to send food through the mail and that regular post it will take 7 to 10 days to arrive.  Priority delivery is faster but prohibitively expensive.  The conclusion after a discussion during dinner tonight with three of my biggest cookie fans was that, after ten days in the mail they might not be as good as they were remembered, but the cookies would be greatly appreciated none the less.  Next week they will be on their way.

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 3: 

It was fun to feel like I had a secret identity.

Kind of Cool or Kind of Creepy

Day 361

There is a house about a mile from me that always puts up interesting decorations for most holidays.  Currently there is a mannequin dressed green in honor I think, of St. Patrick's Day.  They are off beat type of things, not your average everyday holiday decor.  The truth is that my kids find most of them a bit creepy.  I however, love them.  Every time I pass the house I smile, even when they are in between displays. Today I put a note in the mailbox to tell the owners of the house how much I enjoy driving by their house and thanking them for that bit of joy.

Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 4 (If anyone noticed yesterday was number 6 and this should be number 4, I had two number 8s.  I may be kind but apparently I can't count):

I have remembered that way back when, I used to like to write.

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I have been asked frequently if I am going to keep up with this blog after the year is over, which is four days for those of you not paying a lick of attention to my count down.   The answer to that question  is a resounding NO. I've enjoyed being kind and will try to continue daily acts, but the commitment to write every day is only good for a year.   HOWEVER, I am planing a new, slightly less labor intensive kindness project with my friend Kim starting on April 5th.

Coming soon!  The ABC's of Kindness.

Kindness For Me Too

Day 360

I dropped off a bag of clothes in the collection bin near our house today.  It feels a bit like cheating by counting this as an act of kindness since every bag of stuff I get out of the house is always an act of kindness for ME. 

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 6:

I'm not 100 percent sure on this one, but I think my kids were impressed and I suspect it will make them at least a little kinder in life.

The Receiving End of Kindness

Day 359

All day I hoped for an opportunity to commit a kind act that didn't involve money and that would be absolutely fascinating to write about.  By mid afternoon I was on my way to pick up my kids and I decided it was more important to do SOMETHING than wait, just in case something never happened.  I  stopped to get some seeds for our bird feeder and briefly considered whether that could be my kind act, feeding the birds, but decided against it. Kind of a cop out, really. Instead I bought a five dollar gift card from the store and asked the cashier to give it to another customer.  I've done this before so it neither original nor fascinating.  But I have to say, it sure was fun!

And shortly after I got home with the boys something even more fun happened. A woman arrived at the house to deliver flowers for me.  They were from my niece and her husband and the note read "It's give flowers day to you!  We are inspired by your kindness."

Being kind all year has had it's rewards, but I have to admit, being on the receiving end just melted my heart.

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 7:

People from all over this country and over a dozen other countries have read the blog, helping to remind me that the world is smaller than it seems and we are all connected.

The March Madness of Giving Flowers to a Stranger

I started my day knowing exactly how I was going to celebrate Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. We were planning to go out to breakfast after my boys' soccer game, which was at 7 AM. How unkind is THAT to have a game scheduled at that time on a Sunday morning? The plan was to leave the flowers, pink Gerber Daisies, somewhere in the restaurant.

The boys' team won the first game which meant they had another game at 8:00 AM, as today was the playoffs. If they won that game, then they had another one at 9:30. Now this could have meant a couple of things. I wouldn't have breakfast until closer to lunch time. Or we would give up the going out to breakfast idea altogether and just go home, forcing me to come up with a plan B for GFTSD. So I did something unkind; I hoped they would lose. Unfortunately for the team my hopes came true but at least I was kind enough to ACT disappointed.

By 9 AM the breakfast place was busy and I had to be super sneaky to get the flowers somewhere without being seen.  I put them on a table near us as a family was leaving, but before the staff swooped in to clean. The bus boy, a totally adorable a teenager, found them and showed them to the waitress along with the note I had written telling the finder to enjoy the flowers and consider it a random act of kindness. She looked around shocked, not in good way, and said rather loudly “Who gave permission to do this?” Not quite the response I was hoping for, and I got very busy looking at the menu so I wouldn't be accused of committing such an offense. She walked away and left the boy to clean the table. Apparently undeterred by his co-worker's outrage, the young man quickly took the flowers and with a smile, carefully placed them for someone else to find behind the counter near where the waitresses picked up the orders.

We didn't get to see who discovered them but it was just as much fun to see the bus boy enjoy taking part in what I can only assume was his first GFTSD.

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Continuing with the top 10 reasons I am glad I did this blog, in no particular order, Number 8

The birth of Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. Not only is it fun to celebrate every month, I am incredibly grateful for those who have participated. Giving flowers to a stranger is rewarding but actually can be more difficult than it seems; it's just not something one does in the course of their daily routine. Despite this, many people celebrated along with me. Friends, family and readers all over the country all helped make this a genuine holiday for kindness.

And I've had so much fun with it that it will continue in my friend Kim's and my new blog adventure The ABC's of Kindness.

Kindly Take These Doughnuts

Day 357


Friday I donated blood and for my trouble I received a coupon for a dozen free doughnuts. I immediately knew that they would be use for some type of kind act.

First I thought could bring them to work. However, I am aware that this might not be viewed as kind by my co-workers who were trying to eat healthy and or lose weight. Then I thought I would take them  to a police station as a thank you for the service of the officers. But then I considered that perhaps that would be seen as some type joke, poking fun at the stereotype of police officers always hanging around doughnut shops. And that wouldn't be kind at all.

This afternoon I was at the grocery store getting flowers (because tomorrow is the 27th, Give Flowers to a Stranger Day) and I decided to take a shortcut by just giving someone the coupon. The young man who was the cashier looked like a good choice. He was pleasant and friendly, young and thin. The second part was important because he seemed of the age and build that he wouldn't spend too much time perseverating about calories, carbs, or fat content. “This may seem like an odd question, but do you like doughnuts?” I asked. “Sure” he replied, with just enough enthusiasm that I believed he was telling the truth and not simply being polite. “Then this is for you” I said handing over the coupon. His surprise and appreciation appeared genuine, making it an all around fun activity for me.

Continuing with the top 10 count down of reasons I am glad that I did this blog, in no particular order, number 8:

It feels like a great accomplishment to commit to doing something every day for a year and then actually do it And I'm aware that I'm not done yet, but the chances of me quitting in the next week are pretty slim, so I think it's safe to put this out there.

Walk for Kindness and the Cure

Day 356

An easy call today for an act of kindness for a stranger.   My niece, who is a fourth grade teacher,  posted on her facebook page that she is walking and collecting donations for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk for a Cure, in support of one of her students who has diabetes.  This is something that is near and dear to me in a couple of ways.  One, I love my niece, so supporting her is important.  And two, I love my husband, who happens to have type 1 diabetes. This made it quite clear what today's kind action should be.

Continuing with the top 10 count down of reasons I am glad that I did this blog, in no particular order, number 9:

It has been an avenue to be in touch with some old friends from my past which has been fun and helped me appreciate the importance of such connections in my life.

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I am frequently asked if I am going to keep up with this blog after the year is over, the answer is a resounding NO.  While I plan on kindness being part of my daily routine, writing about it every night will not be.  And there is the added pressure that I may be disowned by my family if I even attempt to consider it.  BUT, writing about it every couple of days, in collaboration with a friend?  That might be a fun idea....A new blog will be born soon and you can find it here: The ABCs of Kindness.

Counting Down

Day 355

Ten days to go.  While there are some times I am asking myself, when is this project going to be over, for the most part, it has been a challenge I feel great that I took on. Especially since the end is in sight.  In recognition of this benchmark I will begin the count down of the top 10 reasons I am glad that I did this blog, in no particular order.


Number 10. Because I  talked to many folks this year whom I may never have even noticed, let alone spoken to.

So what did I do today?  I gave blood, which is a true act of kindness to a stranger I might add, not like some of them that I may have tried to sneak through under this heading over the course of this year.

And for all the people who have asked if I am going to keep up with this blog after the year is over, the answer is a resounding NO.  While I plan on kindness being part of my daily routine, writing about it every night will not be.  And there is the added pressure that I may be disowned by my family if I even attempt to consider it.  BUT, writing about it every couple of days, in collaboration with a friend?  That might be a fun idea....

Coming soon!  The ABCs of Kindness.

The Seeds of Kindness

Day 354

One of the goals of this blog project was to provide the motivation for my family to become more involved in volunteer work.  Last spring we started helping out at a local community garden. While my boys weren't as enthusiastic about it as I hoped they would be, they did it with minimal complaint which I considered a success. We've decided to volunteer (actually my husband and I decided, our sons didn't get a vote) again this year and started today by planting seeds which will, with a little luck, turn into plants to donate.

The boys still aren't so eager that they are counting down the days until we report to the community garden for opening day (April 16th) but they sure are looking forward to those seeds popping up. One small step for community service, one giant leap for soon-to-be sprouting vegetable plants.

Chasing Those Blogable Moments

Day 353

I chased down a family in the parking lot after soccer practice tonight to give them the sweatshirt the boy had dropped on the way to the car.  They were grateful and I felt fortunate for the blogable moment. 

The Write Sort of Kindness

Day 352

One of my colleagues P. has been coveting the pen I use at work as of late. It was one of those freebies that companies give away;. I'm not sure why it is such a special pen, but it is my favorite. Just the right weight, grip and ink flow. Apparently she thinks so too, because this very pen has disappeared from my desk a few times only to reappear on hers. Each time I retrieve it, P. smiles mischievously and says she has no idea how it ended up with her.


With my year of living kindly winding down (at least the blogging about it part) I'm starting to have to dig deep and look inside myself in thinking about what are true acts of kindness. And what says kindness more than the gift of a pen?

When P. arrives at work tomorrow, she will find on her desk what was only hers by thieving is now hers to keep. I wonder if she will use it to write me a thank you note.

Be Kind To The Environment In March, And Hopefully August Too

Day 351

I started seeds for my vegetable garden today.  It was a combination of spring fever and a commitment that I'm trying to make to purchase less produce that is not locally grown.  So what better way to eat local than to grow it myself.  We usually have a garden every year, so this isn't a totally new concept for my family.  But it is usually a haphazard one, overrun by weeds before the season  is half over.  And this is the first year we are starting the seeds ahead of time.  The hope is that this will extend our growing season and enable us to have some extra veggies for the freezer.  We started lots of broccoli plants as that is family favorite (everyone except me, but who am I not to encourage my kids to eat broccoli).  The plan is to try to stretch that crop so we are still eating it in the fall.

But alas I do realize  the plan for a garden when there is still a trace of snow on the ground and the thought of weeding in the hot sun is actually appealing might not play out as romantically in reality in August as it does in my head in March.  But for now I can aspire to be kind to the environment and say loud and proud, eat local!

Feeling Kind of Helpless

Day 350

I saw a collection jar for the recovery effort in Japan at Starbucks today.  I was surprised to see it there because it was clearly put on the counter by the staff and did not appear to be a corporation sanctioned  collection receptacle.  I asked the person at the register about it and she said yes, they just put it there without asking permission from the powers that be because it just seemed so important to do something.  Yet it felt like there was little that could be done from half a world away.

There was a temptation to completely empty out my wallet to donate because she was so accurate that the feeling of wanting to help was so compelling.  But I put in just a few dollars, knowing that it was as much to get rid of this feeling of helplessness in me and the coffee shop employees, as it it was to help the people of Japan.

Spy Work Disguised as Kindness

Day 349

I think volunteer work is a great act of kindness so today I helped out at my son's school.  I chaperoned the 6th grade dance.

Oh who am I trying to fool?  I did it so I could spy on my son.  I asked him if it was OK with him and he said sure of course it was, why wouldn't it be.  He's 12, and apparently doesn't realize that in a year or so, my mere presence will be a huge embarrassment to him.  But for a little while longer at least, I can use my cloak of kindness to monitor the sixth grade social life.

Pennies for Kindness

Day 348

It recently came to my attention that my kid's school is having a penny drive for charity.  I found out about it from the "virtual backpack," the  place on the school website for family notices. What? I've been doing this kindness blog for almost a year now and NEITHER of my sons asked me for some pennies to donate? I had to hear about on the internet?

I'm not sure where I went wrong, but you can be sure that tonight each of them have a few pounds of pennies in their backpacks to take to school tomorrow.

Kind of Fun

Day 347

I stopped for a coffee this afternoon and while I was waiting, I was looking at the items in the pastry case.  There was something called a "cake pop," a bite sized piece of cake, covered in a chocolate coating on a stick, like a Tootsie pop.  I'm not sure why but it made me smile, The man behind the counter noticed and commented that he was glad to see someone admiring the pastries.  I thought that if it made me smile, perhaps it would do the same for someone else. I bought one and asked him to give it to another customer after I left. 

He was genuinely excited to comply and said that he really hoped another customer came in soon because his shift was over in five minutes.   While I aspire to be kind without resorting to spending money,  it is always fun to see the kick that folks get when they are enlisted in my kindness plot.

Kind Of Meant To Be?

Day 346

My boys and I put a couple cans of soup in the collection bin at karate tonight. It was for another students community service project, so  we considered it a kind act times two.

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Here's an update on an act from last week, when I asked the woman behind the counter at the pharmacy to help me out by giving someone a gift card  I had purchased (Partners in Kindness, March 9th ). Today I went into the same store and the woman who helped me called me over to the counter.  She wanted to tell me what happened when she gave away the card. I had instructed her to pick anyone she wanted to give it to. She chose a “young girl” (and when I asked how young she said “in her 20's which  made me feel a tad old)  and presented it to her before she checked out. And then it just so happened the the “girl” was short a couple of dollars and used the gift card to pay for her purchase.

I'm tend not to be “it was meant to be” kind of gal, but this did give a bit of pause to the cynic in me.

Spring Magic

Day 345

Nothing says spring like daffodils, at least around this part of the country. And nothing says spring is never going to get here like raw temperatures and snow flurries in the middle of March. Guess what it was doing today? My attempt to move things along was to buy a bunch of daffodils and leave them for someone to find. It may be magical thinking, but it was definitely worth a shot.

I placed them on the sidewalk with a note outside the karate studio while my sons were in class. The note said “Happy Spring! It may be cold outside but spring is on the way. If you find these, then they are for YOU. Enjoy!” As it turned out a woman in their class found them as she was leaving and she was beyond excited. She went back into the building to show the teacher and the note was passed around. As this was unfolding I whispered to my boys that I was the one who left them. We ended up walking out  at the same time as the finder, and we overheard her saying to her friend, still smiling, “These will look perfect in my room.”

It was tremendous fun for me to be with my boys when this happened and for them to see how happy the woman was. My younger son commented “It was like she won a huge prize.” And I think that for maybe the first time in the year of this project we shared a moment of wonder and joy that kindness can bring.
 I may not have moved spring along any faster, but it was still a little magical.

Birthdays The Way They Were

Day 344

I sent a birthday card to one of my best friends from high school today. We used to exchange cards every year but we've lost touch in the recent few years. This project has helped remind me that I really would like to stay connected with her.

 I, along with most other people, have come to rely more on email and ,yes I'm embarrassed to admit, Facebook, to communicate with people.  But this particular friend isn't on Facebook and I don't have her email address so I went old school with a card.  Just the way I used to, back in the day.

Going It Alone

Day 343

My intention today was to engage my family in a good old fashioned pick up trash session on our street. But since it was the first sunny, warm day with no snow on the ground since December, I suspected the kinder thing to do was NOT coerce/force/beg them to participate in this activity with me. Instead, I went it alone, the single trash picker.

Perhaps when this enjoying the beautiful weather thing gets old, I'll get the family to join me.

Thinking of Japan

Day 342

We made a donation today to the Red Cross for the recovery effort in Japan. It is impossible to watch the coverage of the devastation and not want to do something to try to help.

This morning as I was watching and reading the news it seemed beyond horrific. But it also seemed so far away and unreal that it didn't touch me in a way I would have expected. Later in the day I saw some film footage of a cars being swept away, and I noticed one was the exact same as our family's car. In that moment the distance seemed to close and the unreal quality to what I was feeling disappeared. That was some one's car, very possibly it belonged to a family just like mine.

It was a reminder that the world is indeed a small place, and that what we all have in common is so much greater than our differences.

Lost And Found

Day 341

I was at a meeting at my son's school this morning. I stopped by the restroom and spotted a text book on the floor, along with some notes so I brought them to the office.

Now, I realize this does not seem like a very impressive act of kindness. Of course I should have turned the book in to make sure it was returned to the rightful owner. But this project has made me so much more aware of the small things one can do to make some else's day just a little bit easier, or more pleasant or even just more tolerable. I would like to think that I always do the right thing, with or without blogging about it. But I am not 100 percent certain I would have even noticed the book a year ago. Or I may have just assumed whoever lost it would know right where to find it. I can't really know for sure what I would have done in the past.

I do know this. I have a new found radar for acts of kindness and acts of "do the right thing" that I hope will stay with me in the future.

Partners in Kindness

Day 340

Picking up some prescriptions today I noticed there were gift cards for the sale to the right of the register. I bought one for five dollars and asked the person at the register to give it to then next person who looked like they could use a nice surprise in their day. I have done this a number times in the course of this project. The first few times I tried to get out as fast as I could with little explanation about what I was doing. It was a combination of feeling uncomfortable and wanting it to be a truly random act of kindness.

I have "evolved" in my delivery, and when the cashier looked a bit perplexed about my request, I took some time to explain that I was just trying to do something nice for a stranger because it was fun to do. Her appearance changed from confused to interested to happy, and I could tell she was pleased to participate in the plan.

Having partners in kindness really does seem to be more fun.

Put The Phone Down

We went out for pizza tonight with my brother who was visiting from out of town. In the restaurant were a couple candy machines, the kind you put the money in and get a handful of M and M's or jelly beans. While we were waiting for our dinner, I walked over (surreptitiously so my kids wouldn't see me) and placed a couple of quarters on top of the machines.

I was really hoping to see someone find them. At one point a group of three girls came in with an adult. They looked around 9 or 10 and were dressed in soccer gear and seemed to be getting dinner after practice. They were hanging around the candy machines as the adult placed an order. I was sure that one of them would find the money but alas, it wasn't meant to be. They were all too busy checking their cell phones to even look up.

Cell phones are one of my pet peeves. Kids with cell phones are an even bigger pet peeve. And even bigger than that is kids who are clearly to young to have cell phones but have convinced their parents they are necessary in case of an emergency. Pair that with the cell phone use that prevents someone from finding my random act of kindness and you have one pretty cranky kind person.

We left before anyone spotted the coins. I'm sure they were found eventually and perhaps brought a smile to someone's face. And hopefully, that person was not talking on their phone at the time.

Peanut Butter Saves The Day

Day 338

As the end of the day neared, there was no glaring, blogworthy or even slightly interesting act of kindness to report. I went to my go to act in the clutch, a jar of peanut butter in the donation bin at the local grocery store. Given that it was the ONLY item in the bin, it appears that it wouldn't hurt to make this a more regular act in the repertoire.

Spring Temperatures Bring Hope And Trash

Day 337

As the snow melts, many things are revealed in my yard. That lost sled. The snow shovel that went missing. My black gloves that my son swears he didn't wear. And sadly in my neighborhood the melting snow uncovers trash, and lots of it.

When I went out for a run to enjoy the spring like temperatures, I picked up a few pieces along the way. A little more melting and I sense a Saturday family project in the making...

Kind of Scammed

Day 336

My family went to an event in the city today, and when we were parking the car a man walking by told us that we were in a no parking zone, and that there were some open spaces a block over. We thanked him and as we were getting back in the car, he said that he needed to take a bus home, and was just 85 cents short for the ticket. What seemed like a kind act quickly appeared instead to be a bit of a scam. My husband and I looked at each other and realized we had no choice but to give him a dollar.

We didn't feel like we had a choice because we were with our boys, who were already impressed that this man had been so helpful to us. To have to explain to them why we wouldn't be kind to him, and that perhaps he wasn't a nice as he seemed was more than we wanted to take on in that particular moment.

Besides, there is a chance that it was true, that he was a nice guy who was a dollar short for the bus. But if that's truly the case, I think I will look into that swamp land in Florida that seemed like such a good deal....

Take This Coffee. Please.

Day 335

Most of the time I try to commit my acts of kindness quietly without drawing too much attention to myself or the act. But today I needed to name it for what it was.

There was a conference at work and I was sitting at the registration table with a colleague. I had brought her a cup of coffee but she had already gotten one for herself, so there sat the extra large cup of dark roast looking for a home. A woman came to the table to register and asked if there was coffee available. I offered her the homeless cup and explained that it was an extra. “Oh no” she said, “I couldn't do that.” “Really” I replied, “please take it.” She looked a little flustered and offered to pay me for it. I said no, she insisted, and quite frankly I was starting to worry that we were going to have a knock down drag out fight about this. Until I said the magic words.

“Just consider it an act of kindness.”

Her face brightened and said thank you and accepted it with as much enthusiasm as if she had won the grand prize in a lottery. She thanked me at least three more times throughout the day.

I'm not sure why it was difficult for her to receive the coffee as an act of kindness until it was expressly named as such. But I was happy rational heads prevailed, it didn't come to blows and she enjoyed the coffee and the kindness.

Following Commands

Day 334

"Do a kind deed!"

That was the title of an email I received today. It was from the parent of one of my son's friends who is doing raising money by doing a walk for breast cancer research. And since, at that point in the day no blogworthy kind deed had surfaced, I took as one of those "meant to be" things and pressed the donate button straight away.

I am wondering what will happen when my year commitment to this blog is complete. Will I continue to view requests for kind deeds as a commands? Will I fall off the pace without my self imposed blogging requirement? My plan is to continue living kindly of course. But there is something about a public commitment that keeps one honest.

Time will tell, I suppose...

Think Spring

Day 333

I know it was Give Flowers to a Stranger Day just a few days ago, but I celebrated again today. Recently the small grocery store near my house opened a florist section. And often I can find flowers there for a dollar a stem. Perfect for those days when I'm short on kindness for a stranger ideas.

Today there were beautiful irises. I bought three and went into parking lot with the wind blowing and the temperature dropping, and left them on car in the parking lot with a note “Think spring!”

Welcome Back

Day 332

Last October I wrote about a local fish market where there had been a fire. It is a business run by two brothers that has been in the community for over 30 years. These are truly two of the nicest guys you will ever meet.

Today, the store reopened for business. I stopped on my way home from work and encountered two of the happiest fish mongers you have ever seen. It was almost a festive atmosphere as customers trickled in and the story of the last five months was repeated, filled with details of construction, permits, inspections, waiting, more waiting and then the final triumph of receiving the occupancy permit.

The owners were clearly grateful for the customer support and I was grateful to be able to offer it to such a fabulous locally owned family business.

Please Don't Delete

Day 331

A goal in doing this project was for my family to become more active volunteers. We have had some success toward this, working in a community garden this summer, caretaking a WWII memorial near our home, and ringing the bell for the Salvation Army around Christmas time.

On thing I have taken on with a some (well, slightly more than some) regret is the scheduling of the snack bar volunteers for the town youth basketball league. This has involved me sending out emails weekly, sometimes daily begging folks to fill slots. And jumping in to cover when there are last minute cancellations.

So it was with great joy last Saturday when, after sending my last request for volunteers, I sold my last bottle of Gatorade during my last shift of the season. I thought.

I got the call tonight that the "playoffs" are next weekend, and the expectation is that the snack bar will be up and fully operational. Really? Isn't the thrill of the competition enough without having donuts and pizza available?

Apparently not. I'm sending out just one more plea for help. If it shows up in you inbox, please don't delete it, just say you'll pick up a shift.

It's That Time Again....Flowers For A Stranger

Day 330

Today was the 27th, which was of course, Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. It snuck right up on me this month. My younger son had the unfortunate luck to be with me for the second day in a row during my act of kindness. Mortified as he was when I informed him that it was GFTASD, I do believe he was slightly amused when I ran from the car into the fast food restaurant with my bouquet and the note informing the finder that the flowers were hers (or his) to keep.

Or perhaps he was just relieved that I let him stay in the car. No matter. No amount of pre-adolescent attitude was going to ruin my holiday. It was another successful Give Flowers to a Stranger Day.

***********

New to this blog? Wondering what GFTASD is? It is celebrated on the 27th of every month. Some history of the holiday can be found in these previous entries.


Monthly Feature
Flowers For a Stranger
Flowers Anonymous
Controversial Kindness
It's Sweeping the Nation!

Bagging Kindness

Day 329

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” Aesop

I saw this quote on a reusable grocery bag today, on sale for a dollar. I said to my younger son who was with me “Don't you think that is some sort of sign that we should buy that bag and do something kind with it?” “No” he replied, rather emphatically. “Are you worried I'll embarrass you?” I asked. “Yes” he replied, equally emphatically.

Not to be deterred by his lack of enthusiasm and fear of humiliation, I purchased the bag and asked him to write a note to go along with it. I promised I would not involve him in the actual delivery of the act of kindness. The note read “This bag is for you. Just consider it a random act of kindness.” I couldn't have said it better myself.

On our way out after paying for our groceries, I quietly gave the bag and note to the young woman bagging, and asked her to please give it to the next person who came through. We made a clean getaway and never looked back.

The Cynicism Road

Day 328

My husband and I went to buy our kids some gear they needed for karate today. We were apprehensive about starting down the road of allowing the kids to participate in this sport, in part, because of the cost. Each time we need to buy a new piece of equipment, we re-visit our apprehension and resign ourselves to the fact that we are continuing down the road and aren't going to stop as long as the boys are enjoying the trip.

It was a store we had not been to before and we were surprised and happy to find that the man who helped us was knowledgeable, helpful, and it didn't seem like he was there only to separate us from our money. I suppose we had walked in there with a some cynicism, but we left feeling like we had met a nice guy doing his part to have a small local business in a time when there are so many factors working against such a thing.

We thanked him for his help and when we got home, we made sure to go on line and write a few positive reviews. It was the least we could do, for all the other cynics out there.

Nice Chatting With You

Day 327

Be kind to strangers. That is sort of the theme of this whole project, so that just what I did today.

In line at the store getting the last few items to celebrate my son's upcoming birthday, I noticed the woman in back of me with three young children buying what was, and continues to be, one of my son's favorite movies, Ponyo. I told this to the woman and she looked pleased/relieved with her selection. I then started chatting with the little girl, who looked about three, about how much my boys loved the movie. She introduced me to her one year old twin sisters in the carriage, and then she informed me that she as a twin brother and he is the only boy in the family. Now, I was fairly certain that the woman with them was the grandmother but, erring on the side of caution, I commented about how challenging it must be for her with four young children. And she said actually she was their grandmother, and confirmed that yes, four children under three was difficult, but a great joy and that she helped out whenever she could. And she thanked me for my movie review.

As acts of kindness go, this was not big, or fancy, or even that interesting. But it is fun for me to notice a slight change in myself over this past year of living kindly. I've found that sometimes, I actually enjoy chatting with people I don't know. I sincerely hope that they have enjoyed chatting back.

Gotcha!

Day 326

We're an adoptive family, so every year we celebrate each day we “got” our boys. Today, February 23rd is my older son's “Gotcha Day” so he picked the restaurant. The four of us went out, along with my brother and my niece, and my older son was happy there were no restrictions on what he orderd, being his day all. Steak it was.

Unfortunately, it was really lousy steak with no real flavor. And no one else was happy with their meal either. Except for my younger son, who could not have been more thrilled with his macaroni and cheese. It was nice and orange, just the way he likes it.

But the waiter was helpful and friendly, and kept the soda coming (another parental concession to Gotcha Day). So when the question was posed by my son, can't we complain about the food ,the adults pondered this. We all came to the conclusion; it was really the matter of a not very good chef. And complaining wouldn't really change that. And I reminded my son that the point of of our evening out was to celebrate that we were all together as a family, tasteless steak or no.

We thanked the waiter, said everything was fine when he asked, and left a nice tip. Sometimes kindness simply means appreciating the intended effort. I wonder however if by not saying something were we being kind to the future diners of this restaurant?

A Lifetime of Blue Jeans For Kindness

Day 325

I bought my son a t-shirt today (Batman) for his upcoming birthday and the cashier said that, if I filled out an online survey and mentioned his name, he would get some kind of prize. Well, if you tell something like that to someone who has committed to a daily act of kindness to a stranger, it's pretty much a guarantee that it will get done.

It was , without a doubt, one of the longest surveys I have ever filled out. I was even required to name what stores I would most likely buy my next 10 pairs of blue jeans from, and it would not accept the answer that I'm fairly certain I am not going to buy 10 more pairs in my lifetime. In the name of kindness, I lied. I sure hope “Nate” appreciates it.

Kindness or Friendliness. What Came First?

Day 324

I had to return some clothes to the store today. I had bought them for my kids when I brought them home they didn't fit. Because my boys hate trying on clothes, and I strongly dislike being with them when they are trying things on and complaining about it, I am returning items to this particular store on a semi-regular basis. I always think of the woman at the return desk as somewhat unpleasant and grumpy, but if you asked me for a specific reason, I couldn't give you one.

With thoughts of kindness on my mind, I made an extra effort to be pleasant and chat as I was making my exchange today. And, what should come as a shock to no one who has been following this blog, the woman was friendly and pleasant right back.

Was she this way because of my effort? Or did my assumptions about her grumpiness color my previous interactions with her? Either way, all indications are be kind, period.

Clean Up In Aisle Five

Day 323

While grocery shopping today, I picked up a package of sugary fruit drinks, the type I swore I would never buy for my kids but I do anyway, and it started leaking all over me and all over the floor. I quickly put it down and grabbed another package, this one leak free. As I put the box in my cart and continued with my shopping, I realized that the kind thing to do was not to just walk away, but to let someone know so the sticky mess didn't spread.

I let the young man at the customer service desk know about the "spill in aisle five" and resumed my shopping. I was reminded once again that sometimes doing the kind thing is just doing the right thing.

Kind Of A Nice Kid

Day 323

I worked my shift this morning at the snack bar where my son plays basketball for the town league. It is not a very labor intensive endeavor; an hour of sitting and reading interrupted occasionally by a donut or Gatorade sale. While I was there, some kids were playing in the lobby. A boy about my younger son's age, ten, was engaged in some sort of pretend game with a girl who looked around two. He was so incredibly gentle, playful and protective of her all at once, it was a joy to watch them interact together.

As I was leaving I saw the boy walking out with his mother. I went over to them and told the mom what an impressive son she had, and what a great time I had watching him play. She beamed and told me that the little girl was her friends daughter, and that her son just adored her.

I know that I love hearing good things about my kids, so I was fairly certain that it was an act of kindness sure to be appreciated.

Remembering to Recycle

Day 322

Today I was kind to the environment by recycling our number 5 plastic containers (yogurt and such). While I do think recycling should be part of everyone's routine and not an act of kindness per say, I'm counting this because of the steps taken in order to complete the act. Our town doesn't recycle this type of plastic, so the first step is to set it aside from the other recyclables. Then we have to put it in a bag and put it in my car to be brought to the store near my office that does accept this type of plastic to recycle. Next is the trickiest step of all. I have to REMEMBER to take it out of my car, into the store and then deposit it to the correct bin. Because this particular step is so difficult, I have had three or four bags rattling around my car for some time now.

But today I did it! I went into the store for a couple of items AND remembered to bring them in with me. I'm considering it kind to the environment, kind to my car, and kind to anyone who rides in my car and no longer has to be seated among the bulging bags of yogurt containers.

Cleanliness Is Next To....Kindness

Day 321

The recent weather, snow and now a thaw, has left my car and I'm sure everyone elses's, filthy. I thought it would be the kind thing to do to leaves some quarters at the car wash near my house. I had to drive right by it on the way to get my boys this afternoon. If didn't have time to clean my mine, at least I could help insure someone else was driving around in a spiffy set of wheels.

Alas, I was vexed again by modern technology. The automatic wash only took credit cards. Not to be deterred, I checked out the vacuum machines. My luck, and someone else's, took a turn for the better as these machines accepted quarters. I left two dollars worth right on top where they couldn't be missed.

Truth be told, I'm a little envious of whomever it is who has the time to clean their car. These days mine is looking like a sand pile, inside and out. There is saying I've heard that cleanliness is next to godliness. If that's true I'm in a heap of trouble. But at least I helped some else get a little closer...

Pink and Maroon Kindness Brigade

Day 320

I was waiting for my husband to get out of surgery and I knew it would be be a while when the doctor explained that, in order to put the elbow back together, he would need to install a metal plate and “remove all the crumbly bits.” So I thought it best to utilize my time with an act of kindness.

I went to the hospital gift shop and bought a bottle of body lotion that smelled something like roses. Now, I'm not a flowery smelling lotion type of gal but when I used to visit my aunt in a nursing home years ago, she loved of this kind of thing. I went to the front desk to ask what the best way was to get it to a patient in the hospital who may not have any visitors to bring gifts. They directed me to the volunteer office and when I went in I was greeted by a room full of pink and maroon smocked mostly senior citizens, waiting for the assignments for the morning. I explained my quest and the woman at the desk promised to make sure the lotion was delivered.

After, when I was back in the waiting room, I noticed the smocked seniors everywhere. Delivering punch to those of us who were waiting, insuring patients and family members were getting where they needed to be, being “gophers” for the hospital staff. Here I was, with my mission to complete one act of kindness a day, and here they were, their mission to be kind all day, every day.

I didn't accept the punch, but my husband was most grateful for the good natured gentleman in the maroon smock who pushed him in the wheel chair from the post op room right to our car. And I was reminded that being kind is much more than just an act a day, it's way of being.

A Debt of Kindness

Day 319

I've been driving my husband around a fair amount since he broke his elbow, and he's not thrilled about it. He is the type of guy who is always on the go, and wants to be productive. Being waited on, ferried about and told to sit down and watch a movie is not his style. Ironically, I would love to be to be ordered not to take out the garbage and to settle down for a few hours with the remote and a few dvds, but we take life as it is dealt to us.

Today I picked him up from his pre-op appointment and as we headed to school to pick up the kids, he apologized for the gazillionth time for the inconvenience he was causing me. Well, I said, there is something you could do that would helpful. He was enthusiastic about being the helper rather than the helpee and he asked what it was, thus falling right into my trap. “How about we stop for coffee and you get me a cup and one for a stranger too?” Trapped. Like a kind rat.

He reluctantly agreed. It's not that he is not kind, it is just that this type of thing can feel rather awkward.

After we got ours (I had to carry them of course) he stayed behind and gave the cashier money with instructions to buy a coffee for the next person who looked like they could use a free cup. The cashier responded brightly “Do I get to choose?” “Absolutely!” responded my husband.

I asked him how it felt (I'm a social worker, so I say things like that) and he said “Pretty good, once it was done.” Was it kind of me to leverage his feeling of indebtedness for a kind act? Probably not. But it was a little fun. And in the end, I can say a good time was had by all.

A Smashing Act of Kindness

Day 318

The excess of snow this winter has made parking at my office difficult. Usually it isn't a problem as there is a small lot and plenty of parking on the street. Except that now the roads are narrow because of all the snow. I, along with some other folks, volunteered to park on the street anyway so that clients coming to the office could use the lot.

Kind, yet unsatisfying as I found the driver's side view mirror in pieces on the pavement when I left the work today. I guess it was cutting it a bit too close. Here's hoping that day 319 is more rewarding....

The Picture of Kindness

Day 317

My younger son and I were doing some people watching in the foyer of the performing arts center, waiting to see the Lion King. A woman dressed in a beautiful black velvet gown was having her friend/boyfriend/husband, ( I did not inquire about the nature of their relationship), take pictures of her in front of the large yellow poster of the lion, of course. Then they switched and she took his picture. Much to my son's embarrassment, I offered to take one of the two of them together. They readily agreed and it was clear they appreciated the offer.

The man placed his jacket on the floor in front so he could pose with his arm around his friend. Wanting to get the perfect shot, I picked it up and handed it to my son to hold so it wouldn't be in the picture. I'm fairly certain he was willing the floor to swallow him up at that point.

Thankfully, he loved the show so much, that by the end of the evening, my act of kindness was just a distant memory.

A Fine Kind Act

Day 316

I needed to return a library book today that was over due. And it was book that I had borrowed from a friend, so my plan was to make sure I paid the fine when I dropped it off. I got to the library at 9:30 to find that it opened at 10:00. And I wasn't going to be able to come back later. What to do...?

I think my kindness mission has enhanced my skills in thinking outside the box . I attached three dollars to the book with a note to please pay the fine, which was well under a dollar (it was only 6 days late) and to please use the extra money to pay the fine for the next person who was late returning a book.

From daily fine to daily act of kindness.

Sugar Fueled Kindness

Day 315

I'm trying to look at some of the recent stressors in our family as an opportunity. I now now have a whole new variety of venues where I can commit acts of kindness.

Today I picked up my husband and kids from school (he's a teacher, making it one stop) and then we went to the hospital so my husband could get a cat scan on his elbow before surgery next week. The boys and I went to the cafeteria to enjoy a Friday afternoon feast of soda and ice cream. While we were there we left a five dollar gift card from a local store with a note to let the finder know that it was theirs to keep, a random act of kindness.

The cafeteria was fairly empty and there was a woman cleaning tables and putting up chairs. The boys said that they hoped that she would be the finder of the card. Judging by the emptiness of the room, the chances were pretty high for their wish to come true. I was pleased that they were not only not embarrassed by my mission, as is sometimes the case, but were actually enthusiastic about the idea. Or perhaps it was the ice cream and soda high carrying them through the moment.

Either way, I'll take it.

Kind Is Not Always Wise

Day 314

I was in a rush trying to get out the door at work today. I needed to pick up my husband and boys and get them to a doctor's appointment and I was cutting the commute time pretty close. As I was leaving, an elderly couple was getting out of their car to come into the building. In order to do so from the side walk they needed to cross a patch of ice about two feet wide. I asked them to wait, and I ran to my car to get some sand. Even with that, it looked like a treacherous crossing for two people with canes.

The woman went across, but her husband was more tentative. His wife shouted at him just go, there was nothing to be fearful of. I offered my assistance and he accepted. It was a slow, difficult and frightening journey for him over that two feet and it didn't help that his wife continued to berate him for being afraid. He made it across and was clearly grateful for my help.

I walked away with mixed feelings. I was glad I was there to assist, but also realized he very easily could have fallen even with my hand and my shoulder to lean on. His instincts were absolutely on target that this was too dangerous, and I couldn't help feeling that I had put him at a huge risk for a fall. Although he most likely would have done it with or without me.

I know my actions and intentions were kind, I'm just not sure if they were wise.

Kind Witches

It would be quite difficult to write about an act of kindness I committed today that would match the kindness I have received from friends. My husband's recent fall has temporarily turned our lives if not upside down, at the very least, sideways. Having one less driver (both our cars are stick shifts, requiring two hands to drive) is presenting a number of challenges as well as is having one less hand. Add to this the logistics and stress of an impending surgery (to put a pin in that broken elbow) and the challenges multiply.

The offers of help and concern for my husband have really meant a lot. I retrieved my car after it spent three days at the hospital with the assistance of my friend and she even stayed to work at chipping away the ice on the windshield. On top of that, she made us dinner to boot. How did she know that we had eaten pasta for dinner three nights straight and it was on the menu for the foreseeable future?

My husband's colleague has met us part way each morning at 6:15 to transport him and the boys to work and school. Other friends have been quick to offer rides and any assistance we might need. And a couple brave souls have even offered to lend us their car so my husband could drive with his good arm (although the doctor was firmly opposed to this idea).

I did the best I could today with my commitment and as we were leaving the doctor's office with what seemed like an armful of instructions, appointments and ace bandages, I thanked the staff and commented how each and every person we had dealt with was incredibly helpful and pleasant. One woman smiled and pointed to the sign on the wall which ironically said “The witch is in today,” which seemed to prove they were helpful, pleasant, AND had a good sense of humor.

The Road To Kindness Can Be Slippery

Day 312

Given my husband's recent fall on the ice and subsequent broken elbow, I have been using an abundance of caution in dealing with the ice that seems everywhere now that I know what havoc it can cause. A supply of sand and salt is now in the car, just ready to convert any icy surface to a walkable one.

I had the chance to use it not once but twice today, making the world safe for pedestrians wherever I went.

Receiving Kindness

Day 311

My focus for kindness today was on my husband. He broke his elbow yesterday and I was feeling a tad guilty because he drove himself to the hospital. I was kind enough to pick him up and bring him home though...

But it seems there is enough to do to make up for it since he can't drive and is at half capacity for quite a few other things. I stopped by the store on my way home from work to find him something warm to wear that would fit over the wrapped arm and sling. As I was in the check out line another register opened up and the man in front of me gestured for me to go ahead of him. I said no that's OK, but insisted, saying I had only a few things and he had more. The woman in back of me commented how nice it was to see someone being so gracious and kind.

I told her that I couldn't agree more!

Kindness Should Begin At Home

Day 310

My husband took a good spill this morning when walking to get the paper. Rain in the middle of the night, then freezing temperatures created a driveway that looked like a skating rink. So top on our list of to do's was to get additional salt and sand.

When we arrived at the hardware store it was apparent that many folks were in the same boat, as we grabbed the last four bags of salt available. Just as we were about to pay, a woman came complaining about her icy walkway and was told that the salt was sold out. My husband and I looked at each other and decided we could make do with less, and gave her two of our four. She was grateful, as was the woman running the store, since it was one less person she would have to break the news to that they were out of salt for the day.

At home it was a team effort-my husband and I, our sons and their friend who had stayed over- to get our very long driveway salted and sanded. After completing the job, we came in for lunch and also to look at my husband's elbow, the one he landed on when he fell this morning. From the swelling, it was apparent that a trip to the emergency room was in order.

He insisted he could drive himself, and I let him, rationalizing the boys had a friend over and the logistics of getting him home and our boys somewhere other than home alone would be complicated. I did suspect, somewhere in the back of my mind, that letting him drive might not be the kind thing to do.

So when I got the call to pick him up at the hospital because his elbow was broken and he was told driving was out of the question, I had to stop and think about this commitment I have made to kindness. Perhaps in the future, I can focus on kindness to family as well kindness to strangers.

Calories For Kindness

Day 309

I had about 20 minutes of extra time today before I had to pick up my son from his art class. After reviewing in my mind what I could do in that amount of time, I narrowed it down to walking to get some exercise or buy myself a treat. I went with the latter.

I got an awesome orange chocolate cookie at the cafe across from the building where the class was being held. And while I was there, I gave the woman who waited on me a couple dollars and asked her to buy a treat for the next person who came in after I left. She was initially surprised and commented what a nice gesture it was. She then added “And I'm going to do that for someone too.”

It was then that I knew that I made the right choice, kindness over exercise. I'll walk a few extra steps tomorrow.

And The Most Popular Act Of Kindness Is...

Day 308

If I were to write the most frequent suggestions I've received for random acts of kindness to fulfill my daily commitment at the top of the list would be.......put money in a parking meter for someone. Well here is day 308 and I've finally done it.

I had to go downtown to the courthouse for work today. It's in an area that is usually quite difficult to find a parking space. When circling the block hoping for that elusive spot, it is not uncommon to pass the meter maid also circling, giving out tickets as she goes.

Today it was just meant to be, as I found a place to park almost immediately AND I happened to have a surplus of quarters in my purse. So I was good to go for two hours, and made sure the two cars next to me were safe for at least an hour more. Sadly, as I walked into courthouse I passed a row of four cars sporting orange tickets. Alas, I did what I could.

And perhaps it was also kind to insure the meter maid achieved her quota for the day.

40% Discount on Kindness

Day 307

I stopped by a craft store this evening after work and as I was leaving, I wondered what I would do if an opportunity for an act of kindness didn't present itself before I arrived home. And just as I was thinking this, I noticed a young woman trying to scrape snow and ice off the windshield of her car with her hands. Apparently while she was at work all day, the snow had slid off her roof and cemented itself to the windshield.

Quick as you could say “kind” I was in my car and back with a couple of ice scrapers. As I helped her get the car cleaned off, she stepped away for a second and quietly said something to her friend who was gathering shopping carts from the lot. She came back to scraping and I wondered what she had said to the young man. She didn't seem as happy with my help as I thought she would be, although I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting.

As we finished I told her to keep the ice scraper (the cheap plastic one, I held onto the good one with the metal blade; I'm not THAT kind). And as I was starting to walk away her friend came out from inside the store and handed me a crumpled 40% percent off coupon and said “This was all we could find to give you.” It became apparent that the young woman had sent him on a mission. I smiled and told that was very nice and he replied “There should be more people like you around.”

Perhaps the young woman didn't seem as happy as I expected because she was concerned about how to repay me. Or maybe she was just shy. But it seems my gesture was appreciated. And I am hopeful if she sees a stranger in need of some kindness, the gesture will be passed along.

A Kernel of Effort and a Grain for Kindness

Day 306

Home bound again due to the weather, I was in search of a way to be kind to a stranger without actually leaving the house. There is a website called freerice.com that has a word game and for every correct answer, 10 grains of rice are donated to the Word Food Program. Now I must admit, I have seen this website mentioned in several places, and I never looked at it because I was sure it was some kind of scam. The assumption being that if it was too good to be true, then it must not be.

But today, in search of a kind act that could be committed from the comfort of home, I looked at the website and checked out it's validity on Snopes.com, where it was declared TRUE that using this website results in donations of rice. Apparently the money is generated through the advertisements on the site. So today I donated rice to those in need. I will not say how much because then it will become apparent that I spent way too much time playing the very addicting word game. But it was enough to feed a few folks and to qualify as an act of kindness.

If you would like to hear about an act that required more thought than playing a word game, and shows an honest commitment to the effort it sometimes requires to be kind, please read today's entry in the blog Love Your Neighbor. It is a truly moving account of the writers determination to act kindly in order to see beyond her first impression.

The Survey Says Two Thumbs Up

Day 305

Last week I wrote about how my act of kindness was a complaint (Snow, Coffee and Kindness). Today, at the very same cafe I wrote about last week, I was given the opportunity to give my opinion about the employees.

When I bought my morning coffee, the young woman who waited on me handed me a slip with a website to log in and give feedback about my “experience” at this particular establishment. I was more than happy to oblige since I am there often and it seems that every person I encounter is efficient, friendly and it is just plain pleasant to be greeted by them first thing in the morning.

Well, OK, there is the one guy who seems to know everyone else's name and order except mine. I can't figure out why he knows the woman in front of me has a grande half caff soy latte and the man in back of me has a red eye iced coffee but doesn't remember I get a large bold every time. But he seems to be a hard worker and is quite good-natured. And it really isn't all about me.

When I got home this evening I went to the computer right away before I had the chance to procrastinate. For me, procrastination is the single most lethal weapon against plans to be kind. On the survey I sang the praises of the employees and said that this particular coffee shop was, without a doubt, my favorite.

It is hard to imagine that this message will get passed along and the staff rewarded in someway, but for the price of a little effort and a fight to ward off procrastination maybe, just maybe it will.

Hello Work, Calling in Kind Today

Day 304

I had to miss work today, as I needed to spend the day at home, unexpectedly, with my son who was under the weather. While he slept the morning and part of the afternoon away, I tackled a disorganized and messy closet, a task I had planned and then put off at least half a dozen times.

The result; a bag of clothes for the boys who live next door, a bag for the donation center near my office, a clean closet and a completed act of kindness for the day.

Just As I Planned

Day 303

When I started this project, I imagined I would be doing kind things for strangers every day, like helping someone when their car broke down, or assisting with putting groceries in an older person's car. I very quickly learned that, although I had committed to an act of kindness for a stranger every day, the opportunities were not always obvious, or not what I expected.

But today I actually did get to help someone put their groceries in their car. On my way out of the store I noticed a woman having trouble managing the car door due the close proximity of the large snow pile. I offered my assistance and it was gratefully accepted.

Once in a while, things do turn out as planned.

Trying To Trick The Groundhog

Day 302

Even though it was Give Flowers to a Stranger Day already this week, today I decided I needed to do it again. I saw some daffodils for sale and instantly became tired of winter.

I'm not usually a big complainer when it comes to weather. I love that I live in a place where there are four seasons and each of them usually seems to go by quickly. But this year between trying to negotiate driving around roads narrowed to one lane because of the snow, and feeling like I am taking my life in my hands every time I try to pull out in traffic around huge piles, I'm getting a little winter weary. Even my dogs are looking at me with “you've got to be kidding me” faces when I let them out and only place they can go without the snow being over their heads is the driveway (and they're not those little drop kick dogs either).

So when I saw the daffodils, I saw spring. And I had to have it. I stopped for coffee this afternoon I gave the bouquet to the young woman who waited on me, and told her they represented my hopes that perhaps the groundhog wouldn't see his shadow next week, and that spring was around the corner. Ironically, another storm is forecast for Groundhog's day. Thus I suspect my kind gesture will not be rewarded with mild weather.

However, it was rewarded with a coupon for a free cup of coffee that the woman gave me by way of thanks. And next to a melting snow pack, there is nothing I love more than coffee!

Snow, Coffee and Kindness

Day 301

Is silence golden? Or is it kind to complain?

Yesterday I stopped by my usual coffee place on the way to work. Usually I am there around 7:30 AM but because of the snow storm the night before that dumped over a foot of snow in my area, work opening was delayed a few hours. Every school system in the entire state, except for two, was closed or delayed. It was a slow start to the day all over.

So as I was getting my coffee around 10, I asked the young woman waiting on me what time the shop opened. She replied that they were required to open at the regular time “no matter what” per directive of the district manager. As a result, she got stuck on an unplowed road and was stranded there for a couple hours until a plow driver came by and helped her out. All so folks who wanted their coffee at 6 wouldn't go without in the middle of a huge storm. I found this absolutely appalling.

Today I sent an email to the district manager (whose business card was conveniently located on the counter, inviting customer feedback). I expressed that I found it outrageous and irresponsible that, in pursuit of the almighty dollar, employees were required to drive through a storm when it was obvious no one should be on the road unless it was an emergency. I didn't include my belief that, now matter how much I love coffee, there is no such thing as a caffeine emergency.

I'm fairly certain my opinion and email will have no effect on opening time during the next storm. But it seemed kind to try.

Flowers For Just The Right Stranger

Day 300

Despite another foot of snow last night, we were not snowed in today, so I am happy to report it was another successful Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. I didn't have a plan, and hoped the right opportunity would present itself. At the end of the day I left work for home, still in possession of the flowers.

I stopped at the shopping plaza near my home and waited for a few minutes, still thinking I would just “know.” But when I finally realized there would not be a sign, I walked up to a woman loading groceries in her car and said “These are for you. It's Give Flowers to Stranger Day.” She looked surprised and asked “Really? Thank you.”

And her smile indicated to me that I had indeed, found just the right person

Planning For The Holiday

Day 299

Tomorrow is the 27th of the month and you know what that means...Give Flowers to a Stranger Day, of course! There has been a storm in the forecast for a few days now and while everyone else was worrying about how it might effect their work schedule or if school would be cancelled or delayed (as my kids were hoping as they went to bed) I pondered how the storm might effect this holiday.

So I planned ahead, picking up a nice bouquet of Gerber daisies to be given to someone, I'm not sure whom, tomorrow.Even if, by chance, I'm snowed in I can leave them for one of my neighbors. Neither rain nor sleet nor snow will cancel GFTASD.

While I was at the store getting the flowers I bought a jar of peanut butter for the local food pantry bin. Planning for kindness tomorrow while acting kind today.

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Are you a new reader of this blog? Are you unsure what Give Flowers to a Stranger Day is? It happens on the 27th of every month. Some history of the day can be found in these previous entries.


It's That Time of the Month; GFTASD That Is
Monthly Feature
Flowers For A Stranger
Controversial Kindness
It's Sweeping the Nation
GFTASD
Flowers Anonymous

Kindness in the Classroom

Day 298

I found an inspiring Facebook page today. It's called “Mrs. Andrew's 2nd Grade Kindness Project.” Their goal? To see how many people they can get to commit to one act of kindness. They are hoping for a million fans for kindness. I was excited to discover this for several reasons. One is obvious. How amazingly cool is it that a class of 2nd graders have made a commitment to convince people (hopefully a million of them) that being kind is important. It is apparent that this is a very special group of kids being taught by a very special teacher.

The other reason I was excited to find this page is that my motivation to write this blog, the kind act of a stranger who stopped to help me on the highway 25 years ago, happened right near Oneonta, New York, the very town where Mrs. Andrew's class is working from to spread kindness around the world. It seems to me that this that this area of Upstate New York clearly has an above average number of kind caring people.

So let's help Mrs.Andrew's class reach their goal, and show there are kind people everywhere. Please commit one act of kindness, and if you have Facebook account, become a fan of their page.

Baby It's Cold Outside!

Day 297

It was COLD outside today. As in below zero cold. Driving to work I passed people waiting at the bus stop and experienced a twinge of guilt that I was warm in my car. And even though I'm being kind to strangers, I don't have in me to go as far as picking up some at the bus stop and giving them a ride. But that doesn't mean I didn't feel a little bad about it.

On my way home I stopped to pick up a few hand warmers. They are the type that come in a packet and activate when they are opened. I left them at a bus stop in the hope that they would be found by someone who needed them. Not nearly as nice as actually giving someone a ride, but I'm doing what I can.

Shyness Takes a Back Seat to Kindness

Day 296

My son and I were in the elevator at the hospital today, there to visit a relative. A man got in in with us holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and in the other, an empty infant car seat. Using my Holmesian powers of deduction, I strongly suspected that he was a new father.

“Did you just have a baby?” I asked, and he replied “Yes” with a huge smile. “Boy or girl?” I followed with, of course. “A boy. His name is Mason.” came the proud response. I offered my congratulations, we got off the elevator and went our separate ways.

In the past I may have kept my speculation to myself, but this project has made me a bit less reserved, and sometimes more bold with strangers. In the year of living kindly, shyness is not a virtue.

Kind Act, Spare the Embarrassment

Day 295

I took my son to his art class today and we stopped in the campus store to get him a soda before it started. Now, I actually think this treat could qualify as my act of kindness since we aren't so big on soda in our house. But a boy has to drink, especially during class I suppose, so I won't count that. While in the store I pondered my lack of a kind act for the day, and quickly looked around for an inexpensive item that someone might enjoy.

I bought a small pen shaped like a tube of paint for $1.50. Since this was an art school, I rationalized that someone might get a kick out of finding it. But the absolute honest truth is, it was the cheapest thing I could find in the store. I left it on a bench near a vending machine outside one of the classrooms with a note. “This is a pen. If you find it, it's yours. Consider this a random act of kindness.”

I did take care to leave it no where near where my son was taking his class. I could only imagine him feeling absolutely mortified if someone he knew discovered one of his mother's kind hijinks. He's not quite an adolescent yet but close enough to find me embarrassing at times.

Protecting him from possible humiliation, it just seemed like the kind to do.

Kindly Delete Please

Day 294

“Girls! Girls! Girls! Click here!” “Pole dancing!” “Quality stripper on line now!” These are some links I found on the Facebook wall of a local, reputable sports business. I quickly exited the page, realizing that someone had obviously “hacked” into it, as they say.

But then I thought about the business, and it seemed equally obvious that they had no idea what was posted for all their customers to see. The kind thing to do, so it seemed, was to let them know about it. I sent an email advising the owner to check the page, and said I was quite certain he wasn't the one posting.

It's a big bad unregulated world out there in cyberspace. I'm not sure all the kindness we can muster can keep it contained, but what would we be if we didn't even try?

The Best Ideas Are "Borrowed"

Day 293

As I am nearing the end of my project, I sometimes find it hard to come up with original ideas. Fortunately for me, Sarah is just in the beginning of her 365 Days of Kindness, so every day I sneak a peak at her blog and see what ideas I can borrow. And today was my lucky day. She has decided to open up a craft shop with the goal of raising $365 for charity, so I had the opportunity to purchased a cool crocheted pinwheel.

While I can't crochet, or knit, sew, or really make anything, I can buy things. Maybe not creative, but still kind.

I'm not sure what my kind act will be tomorrow. Let's see what Sarah does....

Honk If You Think I'm Kind

Day 292

I was focusing on driving kindly today. In the city where I work driving is rather hazardous lately because of the snow. Often pedestrians are forced to walk in the street because so many sidewalks aren't shoveled. And pulling out into traffic can be difficult because it is hard to see over the snow banks. Cars must inch their way into traffic in order to see if it is clear to pull out.

Not once, but twice today when I stopped to allow a car to merge into the road, the driver in back of me honked. In my mind I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps they couldn't see why I was stopping.

But questions began to nag at me the second time. Is my decision to stop to let a car into the road actually unkind to the drivers behind me? Am I being overzealous in my quest to be kind? Have I lost sight of the rules of the road?

I'm not entirely sure of the answer, but for now, I'll ere on the side of being kind while allowing a few unkind thoughts about the honking drivers.

Kind, But Not Really Helpful

Day 291


It was a snowy, sleety, rainy mess of a day around here. My kids had the day off from school, so we were home bound, waiting for our driveway to get plowed (it's a long one, so shoveling or snow blowing is not an option). Around midday the dogs started barking, indicating the plow was here and they we would soon be free.

About 20 minutes after the dogs had signaled the arrival of the plow, I noticed the truck about midway up our driveway, not moving. We (the dogs and I) went to investigate.

Apparently, when K (the man driving the plow) tried to back up, his mirrors were iced over and he misjudged, and was stuck over the edge of the driveway. He was on his cell phone trying to find a tow truck, with no luck.

It was one of those times where I really, really wanted to help in some way, but couldn't think of any way I could contribute to solving the problem. I offered for him to come into the house while he was calling around but he said he would stay with the truck, confident he could find a tow soon.

I went back in the house, packed up some cookies and a large travel mug of coffee and sent the boys back down the driveway to deliver them. It didn't get the truck unstuck but I hope it made the wait slightly less awful. AAA came within the hour, the truck was freed, driveway was plowed and we were free to leave.

Sometimes it's kind to be helpful,and sometimes you have to settle for just being kind.

Rescued from Kindness

Day 291

My boys went for a snowboarding lesson today. It was their third time on the slopes (really a large hill) so I was feeling confident that they would have some fun and learn something along the way. Toward the end of the time I waited for them by the entrance to the ski school. There was another woman there waiting for her son, who was a few years younger than my boys. She seemed quite nervous and concerned about whether he would like it and the possibility of him getting hurt. I tried to be kind, listening to her worries and offering some reassurance that, in our experience, the instructors were fabulous. They seem to be skilled at focusing equally on fun, safety and learning. While we were talking I saw a ski mobile zip up the hill, and I wondered if someone was hurt. I hoped the woman didn't notice.

Soon the ski mobile came back down the hill with the injured person on the back who looked suspiciously like one of mine. As it came closer, sure enough, there was my younger son riding in back of the driver, looking as sad as a new snowboarder could look after being rescued. I quickly excused myself from my “kind act” to attend to him.

He was fine, a small cut on his head from falling, a bit bloody, but recovered enough for hot chocolate and a hot dog, and wanting to know when he can go snowboarding again.

I'm going out on a limb here to say that, in my year of living kindly, today's act was probably the least effective to date.

Kind Act for a Small World

Day 290

A friend who is familiar with my year long quest to be kind, and the sometimes struggle to come up with original ideas recently told me about an organization called Kiva. The mission of this group is to “ connect people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating poverty.”

Today I lent 25 dollars today to a woman, Ama, in Ghana who is starting a business selling drinks. Presumably, I will be “paid back” this money in six months, and I can then decide to lend it to someone else, donate it to the agency or keep it. I suspect keeping it is not easy to do, but that's OK, that's not my plan anyway.

One of the most rewarding aspects about doing this blog project is the perspective I have gained that, in some ways, the world is smaller than it seems. And today a woman in Ghana became my neighbor.

Not Going Anywhere, Might As Well Be Kind

Day 289

My son started a new art class this afternoon (Armor Design, really). It was at a local university in the city where there is currently lots of snow piles and not many places to put them. I felt fortunate when I went to pick him up that I scored a parking spot right in front of the building. Getting out of that spot was another story.

Because of the abundance of snow and the lack of parking spaces, when it was time to leave my son and I were boxed in on all sides by cars double parked, presumably other parents there to pick up their kids. The woman directly next to me was blocked in, front and back and appeared mortified as she looked over at me and realized that I couldn't move because she couldn't move.

I briefly felt annoyed and then, remembering my commitment to be kind, realized that had I been a few minutes later it would have been me double parked. I rolled down the window and motioned to the woman to roll down hers. I told her not to worry, take her time, we were in no hurry. She looked momentarily relieved, but then the person behind her beeped, either ignoring or ignorant of the fact that nothing could be done; we were all trapped for the time being.

While my small act of kindness did nothing to help alleviate the traffic jam, I hope that it, however briefly, alleviated some stress.

Croissants and the Evolution of Email

Day 287

Another Friday at work, another plate of a treats on the kitchen table. Home made croissants. Until today, I didn't know there was such a thing as homemade croissants. Unlike last Friday, I didn't encounter anything healthy, so there was nothing left to do but dive right in. They were the antithesis of healthy, almost like eating a stick of butter. And I am one hundred percent positive I will never ever encounter a more amazing and heavenly croissant for the rest of my life.

When I got to my desk I intended to send thank you email to T, the nurse and former pastry chef responsible for the greatest croissants ever baked. And then I realized that was silly, I should walk to her office and tell her in person.

I work in a small place, about 20 employees. I remember when we first got email 15 years ago. It was on one computer and we all shared it. And I remember when we all got our own email addresses and how silly it felt that we were emailing each other instead of talking. But little by little, it has become the norm. And it still seems silly sometimes.

I went to T's office, a good fifty feet or so from mine, and thanked her. I said I probably would never eat another croissant in my life because I have had the best and I'm quite certain that nothing will ever compare. And while my croissant eating days my be over, I will try to continue to try to keep the emails to a minimum, and say my thank yous in person.

Blog Fodder

Day 286

My friend P. had surgery this morning and will need to take it easy for the next day or two. On my way home from work I brought her some food for dinner and hopefully enough for lunch tomorrow too. A nice big container of Sausage Goodness (turkey sausage, white beans, tomatoes, and kale).

During this year of doing this project I have tried hard not to use acts of kindness for friends and family as fodder for the blog. My worry was that it might appear as if I were motivated by the need to have something to write about. For the most part, I have stayed true to that rule. But as my year of living kindly approaches the homestretch (79 days left, but who's counting), there are times that the end of the day rolls around, and a quick review reveals no act of kindness to a stranger. Today is one of those days. And rather than track down a stranger on whom to bestow a kind act, I am relying on the kindness of P. for allowing me to count my meal delivery as, yes, fodder for the blog. And trust that she knows I would have delivered it, blog or no blog.

P., here's to a speedy recovery, a good meal, and Day 286 being in the bank.

Snowed In, But Still Kind

Snowed in today. I was in search of a creative way to be kind to a stranger without actually leaving the house. As often is the case I found a perfect idea on someone else's blog. Sarah, who just started her own year of living kindly and is documenting it on Daily Acts of Kindness, wrote about a great organization she discovered. It's called Random Cards of Kindness which collects and sends homemade cards to children who are hospitalized. What a perfect snow day activity.

Not for me actually, but for my sons, who both happen to be fabulous artists (if I may use this forum to brag). Me, I can't even draw a straight line. They both pitched in to help with my act of kindness for the day, and the cards they made were beautiful. Here is my older son's thoughts on the experience:

Well here's my perspective of the act she did today. I was drawing and I wasn't paying a lick of attention to what my mom was doing for her act of kindness. Then I started asking questions about her act today. She wouldn't give me answers until I helped her. So I ignored her for a while, but my curiosity got the better of me. I asked and she told me about the website she said earlier in this blog. She asked me to make a card. So I made the best card I could do. The title was Have a Day Full of Energy with a lightning bolt on it. I felt great about what I had done. Also I was pretty sad at thinking about a child in a hospital. But away from that overall I am happy about what I did.

Thank you Sarah, for helping us be kind, even in the midst of twenty inches of snow.

It's Really Catching On

Day 284

This afternoon I did my favorite act of kindness, buying someone a cup of coffee. It is my favorite for no other reason than it is fun to do. The cashier was the same one I wrote about in a previous entry (A Cup of Kindness, Plus More). Today when I gave him the money and asked him to use it for the next person who came in after I left. He responded “Oh good, now this this means I will have to do this for someone else today too.”

A few months ago, the first time I asked him to do it he was surprised and expressed much joy in being able to participate in such an unusual request. Today it seemed that this “act of kindness” was no longer unique and had become part of his routine as well.

My goal in doing this project was simple. I hoped it would help my family and me insure that kindness was part of who we are and what we do. Knowing it may have had the same effect on someone else out there is fabulous bonus.

What Came First?

What came first, the blog entry or the kind act? I must confess when I sat down the computer tonight I had nothing to write about. The end of the day rolled around with no blog worthy deed. And as I sat thinking I could do I noticed the stack of Christmas cards from friends next to the computer and remembered why I they were there. We didn't send any this year, so I was trying to at least send emails when we received them to let folks know that we were thinking about them, even if we didn't send our usual cards.

We used to send ours out around Christmas time. Then we changed it to New Years cards. Then the last time we sent them they were Happy Valentine's Day cards. This year we threw in the towel and didn't even come up with plan.

I had a couple left to respond to and this was just the motivation I needed. It felt good to finish and I hope that folks don't take an email as a poor substitute for a holiday card. I'm going with “it's the thought that counts” and I hope the recipients are too.

Circle of Kindness (Think Lion King)

Tonight I ran into the grocery store to get some eggs and, if you must know, toilet paper. It was dark but I noticed some kind of red cloth in the parking lot. I was cold and in a hurry so I started to walk right by it. But then I remembered I am kind, so I stopped to see if it was something that needed to be picked up. It was a small handmade knitted blanket, about three feet square, the most likely owner was an infant. Somebody would definitely miss it. It was in good shape and only slightly damp from the snow on the ground, so I don't think it was there there. I took it in with me and left it at the service desk in the store.

Since my husband had to make a trip today to recover my son's lost sweatshirt from the lost and found bin at the soccer field , it definitely felt like the circle of kindness was completed today.

Kindness By The Slice

I worked at the snack bar my son's basketball game this afternoon. One boy, around 14or 15, wanted a piece of pizza but he only had a dollar and needed 50 cents more. After he asked one friend, then another, and then a third, I finally took pity on him and gave him the 50 cents he needed. He was appropriately appreciative, and I was appropriately relieved that I had committed an official act of kindness to a stranger for the day.

Tasty And Kind

I brought a box of clementines to work today. I'm putting this in the kindness column on two counts. One, sharing with my co-workers and and two, making it something that will not derail all the New Year's resolutions to eat healthy and get in shape. Very often the kitchen table at work has at least one plate of treats. That was the case today, my contribution was right next to platter of delicious home made cookies. One of the nurses at my office was a pastry chef in a former life, so when she leaves treats they are always amazing, and today was no different.

So any staff looking for a pick me up in the kitchen had two choices today. Delicious and nutritious or delicious and, well, really awesome. We couldn't go wrong either way.