More Cookies for Stangers

Day 153

Another opportunity to give cookies to strangers! As I mentioned recently, I like giving people cookies. (Cookies for Stangers) Fresh baked kindness, in my opinion. But I aware that receiving cookies from a stranger can seem suspect, so I have refrained from handing them out to people on the street.

But today I think I was within the acceptable bounds of this endeavor. We had a small couch delivered by two very nice young men. Actually it was a sleeper sofa, and this should be good news to anyone over the years who has silently endured (or in some cases, not so silently) sleeping on the futon which served as our bed for guests. There were cookies coming out of the oven just as the truck arrived, so I gave each of them a plate full, along with a tip.

I'm hoping the smell of baking in the house, the kids hanging around, and the dogs too, all painted a picture that said “It is safe to accept these cookies from a stranger.” And that they were enjoyed as well.

So Long Summer

Day 152

We were at the lake near our house today, for probably the last time this year, as it closes for the season on Labor Day. It does not seem possible that summer is almost over, especially since it was in the 90s today. Definitely a melancholy feeling as we walked to our car

The facility is run by the town parks and recreation department (and it is hard to write that without thinking of Amy Poehler). The director does phenomenal job making sure that all runs smoothly. It seems like she is always there, is always pleasant, and always juggling at least 10 tasks at once. On our way out I stopped by the admission booth and thanked her for her hard work and told her that being at the lake was always the highlight of our summer.

Thank you Cheri H.! See you on Memorial Day.

Thinking of New Orleans

Day 151

Today being the 5th anniversary of the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina, I wanted to commit an act of kindness to honor and support New Orleans. My desire to focus on this was slightly complicated by the fact that this needed to be an act that didn't involve money, as I have exceeded my kindness budget this month. I searched online for organizations dedicated to the recovery and restoration, but money and volunteers continue to be what is needed most.

By the end of the day, I ended up spending money, a dollar. I bought a song from iTunes from a compilation album produced to benefit New Orleans. It was a very small gesture to remember a horrific ordeal.

Pay Attention. Buy Local

Day 150

One of the goals of this kindness project is to be kind to the environment. I think I've pretty much mastered picking up trash. But I've fallen a little short when it comes to “buying local” which I know, besides being politically correct, actually does benefit the environment. It is always on my mind as I shop, but often it doesn't seem convenient and can be more costly. I try to go to the local farmer's market on Saturdays, but if I don't get there early enough, there are no eggs left. Last week I did some shopping at a farmer's market in a nearby city and got some of the best fruit and vegetables I have ever tasted. But they were also the most expensive I have ever bought. I absolutely believe buying local is important, but I have not yet figured out a system that works for us. This is one of the reasons I am doing this blog for an entire year, with the hope that the commitment will create some new kinder habits for our family.

Today I was in need of a couple tomatoes as our garden is just about done for the season. However, the day was filled with transporting the kids from one place to another and not much time to go out of the way seeking out a farm stand. It was on my mind though that, when there is a plethora of local produce available, it makes no sense to stop at the grocery store. As I was mid-transport I noticed a small vegetable stand on the side of the road, the kind where you serve yourself and put the money in the coffee can. Tomatoes were a dollar a pound. Local, inexpensive and right on my way.

I realized that I had passed this stand hundreds of times and never noticed it before. Lesson learned? Buying local can be far less complicated than it is in my head. It can be as simple as paying attention.

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A last word about Give Flowers to a Stranger Day (until September 27th that is). Your Neighbor in Florida wrote about it her blog today too. Apparently it really is sweeping the nation...

It's Sweeping the Nation!

Day 149

Another successful Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. I bought the flowers first thing in the morning, not sure who the recipient would be. On my way home from work I stopped at the grocery store and looked around the parking lot for someone who seemed like they might appreciate them. My kids had told me NOT to give them to a man, worried that it would send the wrong message. I'm so glad they are monitoring such things. I chose a woman who looked to be in her late sixties, loading her bags in the trunk. My reasoning behind this was that she was done with her shopping and I was beginning, so could walk by, hand her the flowers and keep going. Because as excited as I am about this holiday, it still feels quite awkward to do the deed.

She smiled and said thank you, and was clearly pleased. But she did not seem at all surprised when I said I was giving flowers to someone I didn't know today. This could mean one of two things. Possibly I caught her off guard, and didn't leave her time to respond. Or, maybe, just maybe, she KNEW it was GFTAS Day and therefore, she was not surprised at all. Perhaps she was expecting a stranger to give her flowers.

I do know this, J. knew about it and celebrated in her part of the country. You can read about it on her blog. And her experience was eerily similar to mine. Grocery store parking lot. No men allowed. Awkward feelings. Seemingly unsurprised, yet happy recipient. Freaky. I don't know what it all means, but I've got to believe that the holiday is sweeping the nation.

Err On The Side Of Kindness

Day 148

Today's act of kindness is a public service announcement. Just for today, this blog becomes my bully pulpit on being kind. I'm communicating this at the request of a friend and colleague, N.

I noticed this week at work I received the same email from N. five times. Apparently, something was going kerfluey in her private email account, and it was repeatedly forwarding a message that she received from someone else. Although the particular email it was sending out was innocuous, my friend was mortified to think what COULD have been going out. Who among us has not said unkind things in emails we assumed were private.

Let N's experience be a caution for us all. Cyberspace can be a wild and untamed place. Be kind in your emails. Always.

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Just a reminder that tomorrow is the 27th of the month, and you all know that means. Yes, it is Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. My husband tells me that it is not within my power to declare a holiday, but I beg to differ. I first did it on April 27th (Monthly Feature) and had so much fun that I decided to do it on the 27th of every month. On May 27th (Flowers for a Stranger) at least 8 other people participated as well. I'm not sure how many folks followed suit in June (Flowers Anonymous) or July (Controversial Kindness), but I am imagining big numbers.

And if you don't think it is within my power to create and declare a holiday, consider this. August 8th is Sneak Zucchini On Your Neighbor's Porch Day. If anyone has doubts about this, google it. If someone was able to get the ball rolling on that holiday, I'm thinking my odds are good for mine.

Tootsie Pop Kindness

Day 148

It was one of those days when the afternoon rolls around and there is no act of kindness in sight. Luckily I was prepared and my family stepped in to help. A few weeks ago the boys and I made up some lovely tootsie pop flowers that say “Smile this is a random act of kindness!” on the petals (Kindness at the Ready, August 5). They were made for just such a day as this.

My husband and sons were nice enough to take a handful to the local shopping plaza and strategically (so I'm told) place them where they were sure to be found by unsuspecting shoppers.

Thank you to Kind Over Matter for providing the flower templates on their website. Without you, this may have very well have been a kindness free day!

Kindness, In Part

147

I committed a genuine act of kindness for a stranger today, but it didn't feel as good as I imagined.

I had just left work when, just blocks from my office, a man standing by his car flagged me down. He was lost and trying to find his way home. He told me his address, which was in the next town over. I didn't have a smart phone or a GPS, but I did have a cell phone, which I used to call my friend who was still at work. She map-quested it (thanks for the kindness assist P.) and I wrote out the directions for the gentleman.

Complicating the exchange was the fact that he barely spoke English. I told him to follow me as the first few miles were on my way home. I told him that when I turned to get on the highway, he needed to go straight and follow the directions from there. He nodded and said that he could read what I had written, but I wasn't sure.

As soon I turned up the on ramp and waved, I instantly regretted not doing more to help him. In the rear view mirror I could see that he momentarily stopped in the middle of the road, confused I imagine, and then continued straight as I instructed. In that split second, it occurred to me it would have taken no more than 10 minutes help him get all the way home instead of halfway. But at that point I couldn't turn back.

The rest of my commute home was spent wondering if he found his way. I hoped that since he was able to ask me for help, he would find someone else to ask if needed and at least he was that much closer to home. I tried to console myself with the thought that half an act of kindness was better than none, but was it? I'm not sure.

They Say It Makes The World Go Around

Day 146

We donated money today to an organization that is helping flood victims in Pakistan. I suspect these are the least favorite blog entries, the ones about money. Most folks prefer to hear about more simple acts of kindness that are part of everyday routines. And truthfully those are more fun to write about. But one of the goals of this project is for our family to make being kind a part of our lives, not just something we do once in a while. And part of that is to make sure that if we are in the position to help, we will. (Spirituality and Trash, April 4)

We realized today that we have donated to other disaster victims locally, nationally and internationally, but the political climate in Pakistan has made us, like others, slow to react. However, there are innocent people in need and we can afford to help.

We consistently try to make sure that charitable donations are part of our budget, but we aren't always successful. This blog has not established that path, but is helping to make sure we stay on it.

Lions and Tigers and Bears. And Rain.

Day 145

My younger son and I went to the zoo today. We had been planning this for a while, with the promise that he could take as long as he wanted to meander through the entire place. When the our boys were little we would take them there together. The younger one would want to go slow while the older guy would run from exhibit to exhibit, barely stopping to look. In hindsight, our older son had absolutely no interest whatsoever in animals, and still doesn't. He did his best to let let us know, but we kept taking him to the zoo anyway, as if it were some sort of parenting mandate. And the little guy continued to be dragged away from every animal he tried to look at for more than 20 seconds.

We woke up this morning to pouring rain. “It looks like we can't go to the zoo today” I said. “Why not?” was the response. “Because I don't feel like walking around getting soaked” I thought. But what I said was “No reason I guess.”

And we went. And I was true to my word. He was allowed to take as much time at each animal as he wanted. I kept my opinion to myself when I thought that standing for a full 10 minutes in rain looking at the elephant eating hay was a bit much. Almost 15 minutes looking at the wild dogs snuggled up in a pile together, protecting each other from the weather I presume. No problem. Ok, I did move him along when we were in the bat house because I was getting a bit squeamish in the dark damp cave with bats flying around, even if they were behind glass.

Three full hours in the rain. We did not leave until my son said he was ready to go. And believe me I was ready two hours and half hours earlier. And for this reason I am counting our zoo trip as my act of kindness for the day.

Good Ju Ju

Day 144

My family and I did something today that we would NEVER have done were it not for this blog. We participated in a mysterious improv event, the details of which we did not know until we arrived at the appointed meeting place.

It began several week ago when I received an email invitation to be on the “Good Ju Ju” team. The instructions were to arrive at a certain place at the certain time with a reusable shopping bag and await further instructions. The email assured me that it would be “fun for all ages!” Were it not for this kindness commitment, I would have hit the delete button before I even read the first half of the email. Public display of, well anything really, is not my style. But spreading good “ju ju?” Isn't that what I committed to do this year?

Besides my family I manged to convince one friend, whose dislike of public attention rivals mine, to come along too. Misery loves company. I said to her “Fun for all ages, how bad could it be?” The only thing I said I wouldn't be willing to do was something involving dancing.

So imagine my feelings as we were gathered with with a group of people who presumably LIKE public displays of all kinds and the organizer announced through her bull horn that we would be reconvening about a mile down the road at a local farmers' market, mingling with the crowd as shoppers, and spontaneously breaking into the "Chicken Dance."

And so it went. At 10 am EST, music started playing through the loud speaker and my family, my reluctant friend, and 150 or so other people, did the Chicken Dance for 2 minutes. When the music stopped we all resumed our shopping as if nothing had happened

As soon as it is on you tube or wherever the video shows up, I will post the link. But for now, just visualize many, many smiling faces at the farmers' market, including of course my families', my friend's, and my own.

Cookies for Strangers

Day 143

My sons had some friends over today, and when my older one said “Mom, will you make chocolate chip cookies?” then turned to his friend and said “her cookies are the best,” I pretty much was a puddle. He is 11 going on 12, and the days of him announcing nice things about me to his friends are probably waning. So saying no was not an option.

I have been trying to figure out how I could include giving cookies to someone I didn't know as part of this project. Cookies really do say kindness, in my opinion. However, cookies from a stranger probably would not be interpreted that way. Today as I was baking I came up with a solution to my dilemma.

I sent my boys' friends home with two plates of cookies and instructions to keep one for their family and to give the other to someone they know. Strangers to me, but not to them, therefore creating no worries about possible suspicious origins of the cookies.

Thank you to our friends for passing for being the cookie go between, accessories to kindness.

Vegetables for All

Day 142

We have had a good year for our vegetable garden this year. While it's not pretty, with the weeds greatly out numbering the veggie plants, somehow the harvest has been plentiful. Which has worked out nicely with this kindness project. We have been able to donate quite a few pounds to the local soup kitchen, will all members of the family participating in planting, weeding, picking and delivering.

In my zeal to be fulfill my goals, I forgot one small detail. Someone at work recently commented that I hadn't brought in in vegetables this year as I had done in the past. Oops.

Today I brought it a large basket of zucchini, summer squash, cucumbers and tomatoes, and left them in the kitchen for the taking. I believe I can fight the weeds to do this at least one more time before the garden is done for the season.

I was reminded that I had temporarily lost sight of an important tenet. In addition to being kind to strangers, it is important to be kind to folks that you actually know (and work with).

Kindness to a Stranger. For Real

Day 141

I decided in the beginning of the day that today's act of kindness must involve a stranger. When I started this project, I fully intended a kind act for a stranger EVERY day. But it didn't take me long to realize I would not be able to fulfill that goal, and that sometimes I needed to be a bit more flexible about who the recipient would be. But every once in a while when I post the blog, and see that giant title “The Kindness of Strangers” I feel like I'm cheating a bit.

And I also decided it would be a face to face act of kindness, because it is easier in some ways to be anonymous, at least for me. I'm not the kind of person anyone describes as “outgoing” and, although I believe I am kind hearted, I'm not a touchy feely kind of gal. Since starting this project, I think I have become more polite to strangers, trying to say hello if we pass on the side walk, making even more sure to say my please and thank yous. However, when going beyond that, I've find it far easier to write or email my appreciation rather than say it in person.

I was incredibly fortunate this afternoon when I checked out at the grocery store because the cashier was a cheerful friendly young woman. She made my mission of face to face kindness easy. I told her I was grateful to have been greeted by someone so pleasant, and thanked her. It felt a little awkward, but she was so genuine, only the tiniest bit so.

So, at least for today, I can proudly report that I was true to my mission.

Coffee Club

Day 140

If you have been following this blog since it's beginning, these are some patterns you may have noticed about me. I spend quite a bit of time in grocery stores. I'm not afraid to pick up trash if I'm desperate for a kind act. And I am a frequent customer in coffee shops.

I like coffee. A lot. I'm actually a bit of a coffee “snob” some might say. Well, “some” being my husband. I like strong coffee that melts your back teeth and I will go out of my way to find some if I must.

Today at work, it occurred to me that, in my quest to make sure I always have access the perfect brew, I was excluding others. I work in a fairly small office, about 20 or so employees. The building is small. There is a kitchen where the main coffee pot is kept on one end and my office suite is on the other, probably around 100 feet or so apart. In my suite we have a coffee pot too, with a secret stash of fresh ground dark roast that we share among a very few of us. The assumption has been that we lovers of strong coffee are in the the minority, no one else would have interest in our bitter brew.

But perhaps, I realized today, there may be others in the office who find the kitchen coffee akin to dishwater too. Suddenly, I felt like we were the Caffeine Mean Girls. I sent out an all staff email, inviting any and all to join our Coffee Snob Club, members need only contribute a pound of coffee monthly (a roast that met our high standards of course, Maxwell House and Folgers lovers need not apply).

By the end of the day, we had gained one new member, swelling our ranks to four. I'm not expecting many more, as I still do believe the majority of the staff prefer a milder (weak, as we say in our club) coffee. Today, we may have ended our exclusiveness by opening up to other members, but we will never open up our tastes to inferior coffee.

A Cheesy Act of Kindness

Day 139

I stopped by the grocery store on my way home from work today to pick up a few things. Right near the front was a sample bowl of cheese puffs that they were being marketed as some sort of healthy alternative to cheese doodles. I grabbed some on the way by using the plastic utensil provided, while imagining how many other people might have touched the contents of the bowl. I was undeterred however by the image in my head, as I really love cheese doodles. It is one of my favorite things about attending children's birthday parties; you can almost always count on them being there.

I turned to look at the package to determine if, by some miracle, they actually were a healthy snack. And when I did my pocketbook swung and hit the bowl, knocking it off the table, creating a crunchy carpet of cheese puffs on the floor.

It was a double dose of embarrassment. The first was that I created a mess and second that it was now very public that I was snacking on cheese puffs. I started to walk away but a faint voice in my head told me that was the wrong thing to do, and certainly not kind. So I about faced and walked over to the customer service desk, making sure first that there was no cheese puff residue on my face, and told the folks behind the counter what I had done. They were quite nice, said no problem, we'll clean it up.

Not really an act of kindness, as of course it is what I should have done. But I'm becoming increasingly aware that acting kind and doing the right thing are sometimes the same thing, and when they are not, they are close relatives.

The Gift of Life

Day 138

I gave my brother a mug today.

I realize that is he is not a stranger and a mug might not seem a very “kind” gift. But he invited me to give blood with him and I was out of town when he called. This is not the brother B who gave blood for the first time ( Blood, Sweat, and Kindness, May 21); this brother W has given so many times that he has donated gallons. Literally. Not only did he go it alone, but he should have received a coffee mug, the “trophy” that is give each time a donor reaches a gallon. And today he achieved that benchmark again. But alas, the center was clean out of mugs.

So in honor of his kindness to stangers, I bestowed upon him the best mug that Target had to offer. Thank you W.

Trash Talk

Day 137

Second day of our weekend away. Yesterday it was clear that my quest to be kind was irritating at least member of my family, so I today I tried to keep my kindness quest on the down low. Theme for the day, be kind to the environment. We did some hiking in the morning, and I picked up bits of trash along the way. Afternoon hike, same routine. I did have my limits however, nothing wet or gooey or otherwise disgusting, and whatever I picked up needed to fit in my pockets because I didn't think to bring along a bag. And to top off my garbage picking day, I fished four recyclable items out of the trash bin (they were very near the top, so no need to picture me with my arm plunged shoulder high in the trash can) and transferred them to the recycle bin that was right next to it.

Yesterday my son was trash talking my attempts at kindness. Today I'm talking trash too.

The Family That Blogs Together... Part 2

Day 136

We are off for a weekend up north to do some hiking. After spending the morning packing and being in the car for 3 hours, it was almost 4 o'clock before I knew it. I started actively looking for an opportunity to perform a kind act since I have this self-imposed deadline and all. Apparently I was looking a little too actively. My younger son, more impacted by my new found committement to kindness than I realized, offered to write today's blog entry. You can only imagine my joy. After taking him up on his offer however, I realized the impact was a little different than I initally thought.

Here is my kind act for the day, from my son's perspective:

My mom was desperate to do a kind deed. She went on and on and on about what she should do. We went to get ice cream and when we got there, she said “Guys, I think we should get a gift cetificate for a cone to give to someone.” And I thought to myself “Can't we just get ice cream?” It feels a little weird doing kind things all the time.

Kindness. It's a work in progress.

Smile, Wave, Avert Your Eyes

Day 135

I was feeling a bit grumpy when I left work today, so I had to remind myself to be a considerate driver on the commute home. In general, since starting this project I think I am much kinder on the road (Wave of Kindness, April 15). But often, when I let cars in ahead of me, I feel annoyed if the driver doesn't wave thank you. My kind action is then followed by an unkind thought, sometimes some very colorful unkind thoughts. I know that if I were as nice as I want to be, I wouldn't care if someone acknowledged me. I would feel satisfied with my own actions. But between now and the next 99 years when I actually achieve that level of kindness, I need a coping mechanism.

So today, knowing I was not in the mood NOT to be acknowledged, I incorporated the wave, smile, don't look strategy. I made sure to let in ahead of me every car that I noticed waiting to enter traffic. I smiled and waved them in, but did not look at the driver. That way I did not actually know if they gave me the thank you wave.

I arrived home less grumpy, more relaxed, and free of unkind thoughts. I suppose it is true that ignorance is bliss.

The Benefits of Procrastination

Day 134

Last week we received a call from Big Sisters, a non-profit in our area, asking us to donate clothes and household items we no longer use They distribute them to families in need and sell them to thrift stores, one of those being among my favorite shopping places. They said they would be doing a pick up in our area in a week. Tomorrow.

This is exactly what I needed. A deadline to clean out the closets and cupboards. Years worth of accumulation. Clothes that no longer fit, and hope has been abandoned that they ever will. Vases we will never use. Sheets that don't match any beds in the house. It was a week of mad sorting, washing and folding for the whole family. Tonight I looked at the pile of trash bags full, ready to be placed out in the morning and didn't see a kind act. I saw a mountain of procrastination, masquerading as kindness.

However, were it not for a worthy cause, I most likely would not have gotten it done. Yes, we benefit from the decrease in clutter, but our loss is the Big Sisters gain---One more for the kindness column.

Kind of Cranky

Day 133

I didn't make it a whole week with out spending any money on kindness. Today I'm out 50 cents. But it feels like less because I spent it in dimes.

At the lake near our house there is a great little arcade. Besides the usual games, there are also old fashioned penny, nickel and dime machines. There is one in particular where you put a dime in and the crane grabs some candy and drops it in the drawer. This has always been a favorite of my kids. When they were younger they named it Cranky after the crane on Thomas the Train. You are almost always guaranteed some candy for a dime. And if the machine is being particularly stingy, John, the man who runs the arcade, will fluff it up to increase the chances of making a good grab. My kids know that when we say “no more money for the arcade” that if they say “how about some dimes for Cranky?” we will usually acquiesce.

Today I left five dimes right by Cranky. I have to admit, I really wanted to see someone find them and get some claws full of candy. I know I am suppose to be satisfied by just knowing that a random act of kindness may bring joy, but sometimes, I'm just not that big of a person.

I hung around the arcade a bit, and walked by the machine several times. The stack of dimes was still there. Realizing that there is fine line between being creepy and being kind, and that an adult hanging around a candy machine waiting for children just might cross that line, I went and took a swim. When I returned, the dimes were gone.

Here's hoping that Cranky was kind.

Kindness Assist

Day 132

I've learned a thing or two about kindness these past few months, so when my husband asked for help with something having to do with being kind, I practically hurt myself jumping up to offer my assistance. Finally, my chance to shine.

He is an eighth teacher and will be going back to school soon. This week he received the list of all his students, along with their information, which included their birth dates. He said that, in the past, he has tried to send birthday cards throughout the year to all his homeroom students. But inevitably, he would forget someone, or towards the end of the year, stop doing it altogether.

Kindness queen to the rescue! This is what you need to do, I said. (And he just loves when I tell him what to do. Lives for it really.) Get the cards today, write them out, address the envelopes, put stamps on and have them all set to go. And he did.

This is one of the most important lessons I have figured out doing this project. When one has a thought about doing something kind, like send a card, or give a compliment, or drop off that bag of clothes for a charity, if it doesn't get done within 24 hours of the thought, chances decrease greatly that it ever will.

I absolutely believe that most people are kind and well intended, and I am certainly no kinder than the next person. But so often we think we are too busy, or we are procrastinators by nature. Our thoughts don't get translated into actions. The 24 hour rule of kindness has gotten me better than a third of the way to my goal. Hopefully, it will carry me the rest of the year.

My, What Lovely Flowers You Have

Day 131

I wrote a note today to the owner of the flower garden that I pass sometimes when I walk during my lunch time at work. I always love when someone compliments my gardens, so I hope that the keeper of this garden feels the same. I wrote how much I enjoy seeing what's blooming during the different times of the season, and that it is something I look forward to. I left it on the step by the front door.

I have been challenged by a follower of this project to go a whole week without spending any money on my acts of kindness. This is day three. It would be day five if I didn't count the lollipops I bought (Kindness at the Ready, August 5th), but I'm going to go for zero spending.

Ideas are always welcome...

It Ain't Always Fun

Day 130

My older son and I went to the community garden today to volunteer. To tell the truth, it was not our most uplifting act of kindness. This is the first year of this garden, and it off to a rocky start. As a matter of fact, most of what we did today was pick up rocks. The soil was donated and apparently has very little nutrition for the plants. Not much is thriving here, the plants the boys put in several weeks ago won't budge beyond two inch seedlings.

I had imagined when we started volunteering (The Seeds of Kindness, May 15 ) that, by this point in the summer, our time in the garden would be spent doing a little weeding and a lot harvesting. But like much of life's plans, it hasn't turned out that way. The trick now is trying to maintain my 10 and 11 year old's interest in and commitment to community service. We had told them that our work would help provide food for those who need it, but it's clear that not a whole lot of folks will be fed from the garden...this year.

And that's our hook. We are are putting in the time this year and it will help for next year. The garden coordinator M, who was hired after the initial planting, is working hard and has amazing ideas for the future. We tell our guys we will keep going to in order help M. make his plans come to fruition. And they are cooperative, if not enthusiastically so.

While it preferable that kindness and enthusiasm go hand in hand, I must grudgingly concede that they are sometimes mutually exclusive.

An Act of Kindness With No Nagging Whatsoever

Day 129

I came home from work today and my son was excited to announce “We did your kind deed for you today.” Apparently my husband and sons loaded the car with buckets and gardening tools, and went down the street to do some weeding around the small World War II memorial, the one we discovered a few months ago when this project was just getting started (Memorial Day, May 31). It is the kind of thing you can pass a hundred times, but once you realize it is there you see it every time. And we had noticed that that the well groomed mulched patch of land we where we attended the service a short time ago was now being overtaken by weeds.

I have to admit, although I did not participate, I'm feeling pretty dang proud. One of the goals of this blog project is that my family will make kindness more part of our every day routine. And the guys went off and committed their own act without any nagging, er, prompting from me.

I said it before (and so did the guy from the A-Team) I love it when a plan comes together.

Kindness At The Ready

Day 128
I have found just the thing for times when the day is coming to a close and I've yet to commit my daily act of kindness. Searching the web, I discovered that I'm not the only one doing this kindness thing. There are many talented folks out there doing creative things miles beyond my skill set. One website Kind Over Matter (you have to love the name) has a blog that focuses “ heavily on the handmade community....dedicated to kind acts, inspirational art and kind projects.” So, that's not quite me. I'm not “artsy” by any stretch of the imagination but I am certainly trying to be kind. I took a look so see what ideas I could borrow. There is lots beautiful stuff there AND a section called freebies where you can download what I'm calling “tools of kindness.”

Today the my boys and I downloaded some paper flowers that you cut out, and stick a lollipop in the middle. On the petals it says “Smile, this is a random act of kindness.” We cut and then assembled them into lovely Tootsie-Pop flowers, their destination at this point unknown. They are sitting in a cup on the counter, kindness at the ready.

I found the website http://kindovermatter.blogspot.com/ through another blog http://deliberate-acts-of-kindness.blogspot.com/

One Act of Kindness Not For Me

Day 127

Some people are kind without even trying. Like K. where I work. He's the type of person whom you can never imagine saying a bad word about anyone. Unlike me, who is undertaking this whole year long project to try to be more kind, K. does it effortlessly.

Yesterday when I arrived at the office, I noticed a sad little dead squirrel right outside A.'s window. OK, well I guess the squirrel wasn't sad, being dead and all, but it was a pitiful sight. A. hadn't arrived yet, but we all knew she would be heartbroken. Her compassion for animals legendary; she has been known to pick up deceased squirrels from from the side of the road in order to give them a proper burial.

While we were standing around discussing how upset A. would be and the need to call building maintenance to deal with the dearly departed, K. walked past us donning rubber gloves that are kept somewhere in the office, I suppose for circumstances such as these. He said he didn't want A. to be upset, and he went outside and helped the squirrel to it's final resting place, details beyond these not needed here. And I thought, “there's one act of kindness I'm not sorry I passed on.” Not only did I pass, I later left a bottle of hand sanitizer on his desk, with a picture of a squirrel taped to it.

But today I thought more about how incredibly nice it was of K. to do this, and how graciously he accepted the ribbing about his kindness. I wrote him a card, all kidding aside, to let him know how much his good-heated demeanor is appreciated, and that it gives us all something to aspire to.

Not Too Foo Foo For Me

Day 126

Recently I put out a plea for blog ideas and I received some great suggestions. My cousin's idea involved putting a little money in an envelope and leaving it for someone to discover, with a note saying that it was a “pocket full of sunshine.” The thought being that the finder would put their pocket and use it to do something nice for themselves.

At first I cringed a bit. Not at the idea, which I thought was fabulous, but the term “pocket full of sunshine” part. For lack of a better term it just seemed too “foo-foo,” for me. It’s not really my personality to go around giving sunshine away. I’m more the pull weeds and pick up trash kind of gal.

But then I thought about my cousin who suggested it. It is an understatement to describe her as an amazing woman. She is a phenomenal harp player, and I can certainly see one associating that with beautiful sunshine. But she is also a fire fighter and a paramedic in a one of the tougher urban areas in the country. And a marathon runner. So, if the phrase “pocket full of sunshine” isn’t too foo-foo for her, it certainly can’t be for me.

So I did it. I left an envelope with 5 dollars by the bus stop near my office, complete with a note instructing the finder use it for a treat and yes, to consider it a pocket full of sunshine.

Shades of Green

Day 125

I went for a walk today and a woman in my neighborhood, about a mile from my house, was out working in her vegetable garden. I complimented about how lush it looked. That may not seem like a significant act of kindness, but it was harder than you think.

You see, my husband and I are intensely jealous of her garden. Every year, no matter how much compost we put on ours, hers is better. No matter how often we weed, we are overrun and she has none. Her tomato plants are fuller, her corn is taller. Her cucumber plants seem to never stop producing. As a matter of fact we refer to her as the “Cucumber Lady,” although we do make an effort to call her Mrs. S. to her face.

Today I said “Mrs. S your garden looks absolutely fabulous, as usual. I don't know how you have been able to keep it looking so good with the incredible heat this month.” She shook her head and indicated she thought there was room for improvement. But she beamed and it was clear her vegetables were a great source of pride.

The green-eyed monster reared it's ugly head, but in the name of kindness, I ignored it and focused instead on the green of her garden.

One Third of the Way

Day 124

Today I am officially one third of the way through this project. Most importantly this means only two thirds of the year to go. The questions I am asked most frequently at this point is “Why are you doing this?” and “Are you getting tired of it yet?”

As for the why, there are several reasons. My husband and I always tell our kids when they ask about religion, or more specifically the lack of it in our lives, that the most important thing that is to be kind to others. This project is an attempt to make sure that kindness is something we do, not just something we say we do. Why do it in the form of a blog? Because there is nothing like making an intention public to help you follow though.

How's it going so far? Well, sometimes I have found it is difficult let go of the notion that a fascinating event involving kindness and strangers is going to happen each and every day. I definitely miscalculated on that one. But in order to survive the next eight months I need to accept that something does not have to be interesting to be blog worthy. And that, although “kindness to a stranger” is a catchy term, sometimes it is OK to include friends and family in those blogable moments.

“What has been the best part of doing this project?” OK, well actually, no one has asked me that question, but I'm going to answer it anyway. When people tell me that they were motivated to be kind in some way because of reading this blog, I LOVE it! It was not my intention to affect anyone's behavior, beyond my own and my family's, but when I hear that there is a ripple beyond cyberspace, it feels awesome, and gives me motivation to keep going.

So what was the kind act to commemorate being one third of the way there? In staying with the “non-fascinating” theme, my husband and son bought a bucket of golf balls at the driving range for the next person. It was at a local golf course whose mission is to provide the opportunity to golf for everyone, regardless of their ability to pay. I'm throwing that last detail in there for those who may believe a golfer who can't afford to golf is an oxymoron.

Four months down, eight to go...