Acknowledging Grief

Day 162

I was at the office supply store today, picking up the last couple things on the back to school list that I missed the first time around. I bumped into (literally) a woman in the marker and pen aisle who, it turns out, was doing the exact same thing. We commiserated a bit about the joys and the challenges of the beginning of the school year. She added that this was a particular difficult year for her because her husband died six months ago and it was the first time she was doing the back to school routine on her own.

Initially I felt embarrassed that I had been complaining about mundane stressors of everyday life as she was dealing with such profound grief. I told her how sorry I was for her loss, and that I could not imagine how hard it was for her. She smiled just slightly and thanked me, her eyes filling up briefly. She then asked a question about what school system my kids were in, and we were off on the topic of the differences from school to school. We chatted for a few minutes and then went our own shopping ways.

Acknowledging death is often difficult. There is a misguided notion that talking about it will somehow re-open an emotional wound. It is a hard to know what is the “right” thing to say, but “I'm sorry for your loss” is almost never wrong.